gum/drop/smile

oh hey there

2012-01-28T13:08:00.001-08:00

To the boy who Googled my name and found my little corner of the internet: Hello.

To the rest of the world: Hello.

I've missed you! I've missed writing for the sake of writing and being able to share my thoughts with (relatively) complete strangers. I've even missed the mixed feelings of freedom and anxiety when you realize that you have no idea what you're writing about. It's been a while so maybe we should take a moment to catch up.

There have been a few earth shattering moments since October 24th, such as:

We performed Hairspray, the musical. I was Brenda, the slutty girl on the Corny Collins Show. If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend you fill this gaping hole in your life with some fun-filled, racially insensitive joy ASAP.

I went to India for three weeks! Whoa! My dad, brother and I spent Christmas drinking chai tea and being stared at wherever we went. It was brilliant, it was miserable, I'm happy to be home.

Winter. Where did that come from? I love it, I love it, I love it. The snow is so beautiful, the trees look like they've been sprinkled with powdered sugar (the cold has also motivated me to do an unspeakable amount of baking), and it gives me an excuse to buy new wool socks.

Life is good. Life is really good.

Love,

Erika

little things 5

2011-10-24T18:10:00.001-07:00

Hello darlings,

Unfortunately, my internet presence over the past few weeks has been restricted to facebook chats and old Pokemon episodes. And sooo... I'll leave you with this, one of my new favorite things:

Little Things "A list of little things we should appreciate."

A couple little, good things from my week:

Leftover pizza
Crazy friends who will dress up as a zombie with you
Comfy, cozy, old man sweaters
The sound of rain pounding on the school roof
The word "hootzpuh"

Enjoy,

Erika

baby animal of the week: kangaroo

2011-10-15T10:36:00.000-07:00

Hello friends,

Yesterday was my ultimate evening of culture and cool things. After musical rehearsal, I went to a book sale, a coffee shop, and an art show. Thus, today is my day of sitting on the couch eating Goldfish crackers, listening to Two Door Cinema Club, and staring adoringly at the following pictures:

Also, I know "of the week" is no longer an accurate time frame. Unless you adopt my new calendar where one week can stretch for MONTHS! Never be late for a deadline again! Just don't specify which Monday you'll do something...

some news

2011-10-03T19:47:00.000-07:00

I never know how to keep this balance between my personal life and... other stuff. Writing stuff? Book stuff? Some days I just don't feel like I have enough expertise on anything but myself, and therefore don't have any right to post about them. But! These past few weeks have been supercrazybusy and I have a few things to share.

I got a role in the musical! It's a very small part--my character's name is Vicky and she's a chorus girl who sings/dances/acts in the background. I'm happy with it. And rehearsals are already in full swing, meaning every day after school I'm at the theatre or the music room practicing until 5:30. I honestly have no idea how the people with lead roles can handle it.

I'm not sure if I'm doing NaNoWriMo this year. If I do, it'll be my fifth year in a row. Wow, I've been trying to write novels since I was 11. That boggles my mind. My mind has been boggled. But between band, jazz band, musical, choir, homework... I don't know if my mind can handle any more of this boggling nonsense.

You tell me: Are you doing NaNoWriMo this year? There are 28 days left to plan your epic novel! And, if you don't mind me asking, what do you think of Hairspray?

book of the month - september

2011-10-03T19:19:00.000-07:00

My first ever book of the month: Outlander by Diana Gabaldon

I must confess that, back at the beginning of September when I said I was going to read and review Outlander, I didn't think I would make it. I was about a hundred pages in to an 800+ page book. And I wasn't planning on finishing.

But Diana Gabaldon's historical romance has something about it that pulls you in and will not let you go. She uses a line quite often, when one character says something, and the other responds not to what was said, but what was meant. The entire story reads like that, going beyond what I first expected to something rich and complex.

The story follows Claire Randall, a British nurse who, while exploring 1945 Scotland, is pulled through a magical stone circle and finds herself two hundred years in the past, surrounded by tribesmen and clans and war. After reading the back cover, I figured I had a decent sense of what I was about to read: Girl goes back in time. Girl meets handsome Scotsman. They fall in love. Some other stuff happens. The end! But all of the characters were so... so smart. They figured things out, they acted rather than just reacting, they came up with solutions that I never would have.

Outlander is totally unpredictable. Gabaldon describes the Scottish highlands in such beautiful detail I actually looked forward to those big blocks of descriptive text. And there were no set heroes or antagonists. A character wasn't good or evil simply because of who they were--you got to see them develop and change through the novel, and make your own assumptions based on what they did, not what you were told.

All in all, it was an incredible novel, perfect for curling up on a cold Fall day. It's long, yes, but it goes by quickly. It stands boldly alone--but is also the first in a series. I would highly recommend it to anyone wanting to read a book that is fabulously thought out, but doesn't feel like a chore to read.

fall five

2011-09-21T16:47:00.000-07:00

Good morning, world!

1. I auditioned for a musical. This year my school is doing "Hairspray". Oh my gosh, I don't think the full horror of singing/dancing/acting in front of other people really sets in until you're there, on stage, and your heart starts to race.

2. I miss eating crunchy things. Like popcorn, pizza, chocolate cake, chips, pecan pie, apples, pears, strawberries, cereal, cheezies... Basically everything I can't eat right now.

3. It rained today. I've discovered sky lights that run the length of the upstairs hallway and make the lack of windows a little more bearable. The sky was white and grey this morning. You can hear rain plinking on the roof of the school when you're sketching in the art room.

4. Over the summer I fooled myself into thinking I missed this: school, homework, waking up early every day... I think I could do without it for a few more months of sunshine.

5. Boys with long hair pulled back in pony tails: yay or nay? I'm watching Survivor and I can't make up my mind...

surgeryerific

2011-09-16T14:21:00.000-07:00

To my dearest fellow human beings,

I am exhausted. I have a piece of gauze taped to my arm where the IV was inserted* and my lower jaw is completely numb. Nothing major going on--I just had my wisdom teeth removed this morning. I know it had to happen sooner or later, but can I just say that I'm feeling a lot less wise than I was yesterday?

So, to look on the bright side, I have a list for you!

Three Things You Must Do When Your Mouth Is Completely Numb:

1. Swallow pills. Depending on the reason for the numbness, the pills might be mandatory. But that doesn't make them any less fun! I swear, it's the weirdest thing to see the pill in your hand, put in it your mouth, and then have it completely disappear because you can't feel it anymore. I had to open my mouth and ask my mom if it was still there (which I'm sure she enjoyed to no end).

2. Touch your face. I've been constantly poking my lower jaw because it feels so weird. My hand can feel my jaw but my jaw can't feel my hand. It's like I have an imaginary chin! I have to double check in a mirror every once in a while to make sure it's still there.

3. Talk. A lot. Simple words have never been so hilarious! And if they sound funny to you, the people hearing you talk are clearly having a fabulous time! It's amazing how much you can get across with a couple hand gestures, some very intense facial expressions, and a garbled "Mahhhhh erm a kloopnak ottobob lushvas."

Because I am hoping that I don't get dental surgery very often in my life, I plan to relish this moment. Sure, there might be a little blood on my pillow when I wake up, but hey, sticking out my tongue is like a whole new experience!

Love,
Erika

*I am not so good with needles. Not at all. And, because I have "small veins," my dentist ended up calling in his dad (an ER nurse) to help insert the IV. The dentist's dad, my mom, it was like a family affair. Of course, it would've been considerably more fun if there weren't any needles involved, but what can I say? Dentists have a weird sense of humor.

book of the month info

2011-09-06T12:52:00.001-07:00

I've been exploring Once Upon A Time... , a blog by a writer named Cristina Dossantos, and I love it. The design, the writing, the features. So much that I want to steal (read: take inspiration from) one of her segments--Book of the Month.

I find book reviews a little daunting. Someone created something, put so much of themselves into a book, and what makes me think I have any right to critique it? But I want to practice and I love to read. One book review a month should be... doable.

If any of you have read the same book, or would like to, we can discuss it and share what we loved/hated/couldn't put down. For September, I've chosen something nice and thick: Outlander by Diana Gabaldon.

The year is 1945. Claire Randall, a former combat nurse, is back from the war and reunited with her husband on a second honeymoon--when she walks through a standing stone in one of the ancient stone circles that dot the British Isles. Suddenly she is a Sassenach--an "outlander"--in a Scotland torn by war and raiding Highland clans in the year of Our Lord...1743.

Hurled back in time by forces she cannot understand, Claire is catapulted into intrigues and dangers that may threaten her life...and shatter her heart. For here she meets James Fraser, a gallant young Scots warrior, and becomes a woman torn between fidelity and desire...and between two vastly different men in two irreconcilable lives.

Let me know if you've read it, or if you'd like to read it. Book club, anyone?

so this is September

2011-09-06T12:14:00.000-07:00

Today was the first day of school. I spent the entire time wandering around in a confused daze while my thoughts flitted between:

Oh my God, why did I wear this?
WHY on earth did I decide to take all these difficult classes?
Everyone looks so pretty and smart and talented!
Oh no. Oh no oh no oh no.
Is that my classroom? Where's my classroom?!
Oh good, my locker won't open. I'm so glad.
I really should've worn something else...

Every year, I start school thinking the exact same thing: This is it. This year, everything will be different. I'll make tons of great friends, all my classes will be amazing, nothing will be the same. Everyone reinvents themselves over the summer--I know I do--but sometimes not as much as you'd like. And having to deal with that, the fact that there will always be unpleasant people in the world, and there will always be people who are smarter and better looking and more talented than me... It's an adjustment.

I don't know. I don't know if this will be good or bad or just plain confusing. I don't know if I'll meet nice people or hate all my classes or feel overwhelmed or have a lovely time of it. I don't know yet.

And that is terrifying.

august

2011-08-22T20:09:00.000-07:00

Good evening, my friends.

Sorry. I know that sentence makes me sound like a 700 year old vampire Lothario with greasy hair and a dirty mustache. I just can't help it. We've been apart for so long, I'm a changed person. Oh, and I've developed a vaguely Eastern European accent which really helps with the wooing.

I've been doing some book buying recently, trying to make the best of working through the summer (long days = more money to spend on books = looooong days). Here are a few new ones sitting at the foot of my bed:

Nightshade by Andrea Cremer (YA Urban Fantasy)
The Girl Who Could Fly by Victoria Forester (MG Urban Fantasy)
French Food at Home by Laura Calder (a Cookbook!)
The Girl in the Steel Corset by Kady Cross (YA Steampunk)
Sisterhood Everlasting by Ann Brashares (Adult Fiction--I think?)

I'm super excited about Girl in the Steel Corset. I haven't seen a lot of new Young Adult Steampunk novels around the bookstore--but we have vampire books by the dozen. Do you have a favorite steampunk novel, or are you looking forward to a particular release? I loved Clockwork Angel by Cassandra Clare.

Also: is 'steampunk' the official terminology? I have this bizarre feeling that it's what my mom would call a "little boy word," like fart or bologna. Okay, maybe not in quite the same playing field.

Love and books (wonderful, wonderful books),

Erika

book anxiety

2011-08-11T15:40:00.000-07:00

When I was cleaning my room, repainting and rearranging, I decided to do something really dumb: I separated my unread books from the ones I had read.

This book-segregation finally ended last night, when I took all my books off the shelves and ended up getting very little sleep. Thank goodness. I would look at my bookshelf and instead of thinking, hey, cool beans, maybe I can read something really good today, I would feel overwhelmed. My reading went from being an escape to a chore.

Does this ever happen to you? Working in a bookstore, I feel like I have to be reading constantly so I can give people up-to-date recommendations. Not only that, but my heaps-of-books-to-read anxiety actually made me not want to buy new books.

What

is

this

madness?!

Now that my books are happily intermingling again, I think I'm on my way to getting over my book anxiety. I might even have to buy a few more, you know, to fill out my collection.

You tell me: Do you ever get book-anxiety? And how do you deal with knowing that you aren't physically able to read everything out there that you want to read?

on not flying alone

2011-08-05T17:05:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was the last night of a week-long writing camp I've been attending. It was put on by my local college and library and was been, well... affirming.

Every time I meet other writers in real life, I get this wonderful glowy feeling. It's like someone else finally gets it. Imagine if you had a burning passion for flying kites, and you're walking home one day when you see a flash of something colorful in the sky. You follow the thin line of string down to the earth and see a boy holding a spool, watching the kite dance in the wind. You spend the day discussing aerodynamics and the pros and cons of flashy ribbons and how much it sucks when you don't notice a nearby tree. And by the end of it the kite has flown off somewhere, but you're both smiling because you've shared your passion with someone else, and they understood.

This camp, and every other gathering of writers I've ever been to, has felt like that. A kite in the wind. A sign that you are not alone.

We did a lot of little exercises where one of our instructors, Jess, would give us a writing prompt and we'd spend ten or fifteen minutes writing, then people would share what they came up with. On my own, I rarely use prompts or write like that, in short bursts. They were great, though, and it felt so nice to write without forethought, without an outline or a story arc. Just to get the words down while they were still warm. A few of my favorite prompts were:

Write something involving a mirror or other reflective surface
If you had a key that could open one door (anywhere, anytime), what would be on the other side of it?
Write a brief autobiography, and include one lie
Write about yourself, the writer, from the point of view of someone else (your friend, your laptop, the flies on the wall, etc)
Write a song lyric/nursery rhyme/poem you know by heart, then respond to it line by line

during and after

2011-07-29T17:33:00.000-07:00

So it's taken me three days, but in the past 72 hours of hard work, extremely poor nutrition and probably inhaling way too many paint fumes, I have taken my room from this:

To this:

Sorry that they're both flowers. I do realize that takes away from the comparison. But! It's pink! And white! And French and muted and sophisticated but not snooty and it feels like my room, and it feels like home.

baby animal of the week: elephant

2011-07-26T10:11:00.000-07:00

I can totally picture myself befriending a baby elephant. We could go on long walks, stay up late crying over Dumbo and Water for Elephants, paint each others' toe nails...

On second thought, I think I'd rather see a baby elephant in the wild, smiling and playing with all its elephant friends. Remembering everything.

XVI by Julie Karr

2011-07-25T21:24:00.000-07:00

Summary from Booklist:

In 2150 Chicago, girls are walking billboards. Upon turning 16, they receive government-issued tattoos on their wrists that read “XVI.” They’re supposed to keep the girls safe, but in reality, the tattoos broadcast their brand-new sexual availability.

As their sixteenth birthdays approach, Nina is increasingly disturbed by her best friend’s obsession with becoming the ideal “sex-teen” and entering the Female Liaison Specialist (FeLs) service, the only option for women from the lower tiers to move up the social ladder.

Meanwhile, Nina works hard to uncover the mystery her dead mother left behind, a secret that could end the entire FeLs program.

I was so, so looking forward to this book. The whole premise is fascinating--when girls turn 16, they basically lose any right to refuse a guy. People assume that they're obsessed with sex, appearances, clothes, boys, and sex. And for many of them, that's true. But not Nina Oberon.

For those of you who don't know, I am 16. And, to be honest, it doesn't feel like a big deal. The guys in my life are still who they were. It's not like you go to sleep one night and wake up the next morning a completely different person. Not even on your sixteenth birthday. That being said, I couldn't imagine being branded with an XVI tattoo, having everyone know that I was suddenly "available". Earlier today, at the bookstore I work at, a creepy guy called me "cutie", and I wanted to punch him in the face whilst yelling something totally feminist. So having that be the way people were expected to treat me? No way.

But there were some parts of the book that... to be frank, I didn't like. All of the slang definitely confused me. It's a dystopian novel that takes place in the future, and things like "trannies" (like cars, only more hover-y) just weren't explained enough for me to properly understand. I suppose it's just a choice: Do you back away from the story a bit to provide more info on where you are and what's happening? Or do you totally immerse yourself in the character's POV, and lose some of your audience?

Another thing that got to me were all the nicknames. This coming from the girl who grew up with very few nicknames, bear in mind. But I feel like you have to put so much thought into giving your main character the best name possible--so why cover that up with at least half a dozen nicknames? One, sure. Two, tops. I know it's a personal choice, but it's always one where I choose no.

The story follows Nina Oberon as her life changes dramatically--she meets a boy who makes her feel like love and sex might not just be government-sexteen-propaganda, finds out that her mom's abusive boyfriend Ed is much worse than she ever could've imagined, and has some serious doubts in the society that she grew up in. To me, this book was... okay.

Pro: fantastic cover, brilliant and frightening concept, likeable characters from all different class levels (which is a big deal in the XVI-universe)

Con: hard to get in to, some strange pacing (in my opinion), I felt disconnected from what was going on.

Buy/Borrow/Bust: I'd say borrow it from your local library to see if it's your taste. On the plus side, it's already out in paperback!

comfort books

2011-07-25T19:17:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, when it's cold outside, when you're stressed out from school/work/family/life, or when you just want to curl up with something tried and true, you need a comfort book.

To me, the definition of a "comfort book" is a lot like mashed potatoes. Not something overly thought-provoking or edgy. Definitely nothing good for you. A comfort book makes you feel warm and good and instantly at home.

My version of comfort books are things that I've read before, and can read over and over again. They're YA and MG, and just plain friendly. That's the thing. As much as I hate the word, a lot of my comfort books are "wholesome". Romantic, descriptive, and full of heart.

1. Which Witch by Eva Ibbotson. This book was suuuch a big part of my childhood. It's about seven witches from a small town who compete to marry the dark wizard Arriman the Awful. Six of the witches are totally mean and nasty, and then there's Belladonna, the only "white" witch. She's kind, friendly, generous--and surprisingly good at magic, and finding ways around the general meanness of the challenges Arriman gives them, while still being successful. It's such a quietly lovely book, like a fairy tale. Really. Everything by Eva Ibbotson makes me smile.

2. The Gravesavers by Sheree Fitch. Oh, this sweet, sweet book. A family tragedy sends 12-year-old Minn to her sour grandmother's for the summer, where she meets a boy and discovers the most devastating shipwreck since the Titanic. The POV shifts between Minn and Thomas Hindley, a passenger on the S.S. Atlantic. It's just beautifully written, and weaves together the past and the present, not to mention all the different characters' stories. But my favorite part? Minn's mom's job is naming paint colors. Every time Minn looks at something--like the night sky--she comes up with a name for the color. Midnight Madness. Deepening Blue. Endless.

3. Inkheart by Cornelia Funke. I wasn't sure whether I liked this book, despite the fact that the author's name is super amazing. But everything about it is like a dream come true: when Meggie and her father read out loud, things come out of the books. Not always nice things. And every time something is pulled out of a book, something has to go back in--like Meggie's mom. It's magical and awe-inspiring, and by the end of the trilogy virtually every character felt like an old friend.

These are the books I grew up with. They make me feel good no matter what's happening in my life. Mashed potatoes squished between two covers. But not gross.

baby animal of the week: ocelot

2011-07-24T18:47:00.000-07:00

Oh herro. Time to make today a little bit more adorable. Ocelot-style. Now, how often do you get to say that?

They have blue eyes. This amazes me. So far, all the blue-eyed things I know are human. I think.

Happy Sunday.

little things 4

2011-07-23T14:24:00.000-07:00

Oh man. After laying down some serious teen angst on you guys in my last post, you deserve something happy and fun. So here are a few things that make me feel happy and fun:

1. Foreign accents. I know this topic has received a lot of love--my friend owns at least two "I love boys with British accents" T-shirts, which I think somewhat discriminates against all the other lovely accents and boys-who-have-them*--but it deserves all the attention it gets. Really. What could possibly be better than getting to listen to a voice that sounds so different, so unique that it's like music?**

2. Summer rain. We're getting to the end of July and we've had maybe three beautiful sunny days where I live. The rest? Cloudy. Grey. Rain. And I love it! It's warm enough to be pleasant, but cool and wet enough to mean you can close your eyes and pretend it's Autumn. Sigh. I miss the fall!

3. No school. Whoever came up with "Summer vacation"*** is a genius. Who's probably dead. Still a genius! Despite the fact that I'm working a lot, I wouldn't trade it for school. I love studying, I love learning, I just don't love the early mornings or piles of homework. I think I could get used to this "summer" thing.

There's more. There's always more. And that is excellent.

*Because come on: boys with French accents, Australian accents, Afrikaans accents, Scottish, Irish, Italian, German, Spanish, and all the other ones I'm leaving out! = too good to choose.

**This, of course, hinges on the fact that you can actually understand what they're saying!

***Probably a farmer, considering this is the time of year we're supposed to be harvesting our fields and killing our livestock and what not. I'll, uh, get right on that... We do have a lovely herb garden!

so old already

2011-07-21T19:16:00.000-07:00

Yesterday my friend turned 16. Approximately 6 1/2 months ago, I turned 16. This may not be a big deal to you, but I'm growing up. I'm getting old. One day at a time.

I'm a nostalgic person. I don't want to be; I'd rather be in the present! Exciting! Trying new things and reveling in where I am right now! But I'm more sepia toned. I think about things. I day dream and I take a while to open up to people.

I feel like... I'm wasting my youth. I don't go out and party. I don't drink or do drugs. I've never had a boyfriend. By all stereotypes, I am someone aged between 13 and 19. I am not a teenager.

One day I'm going to look back on this and say, "I was so young and foolish." And so, to my future self, I say NO. NO STEP DOWN FROM YOUR SNOOTY, MATURE HIGH HORSE.

Yes, I am young and foolish. I am free spirited and idealistic and have dreams as big as the sky. And I will be young and foolish till the day I die.

feeling deathly hollow

2011-07-16T14:22:00.000-07:00

I can vividly remember going camping with my family once: We stayed in a cramped tent that was much bigger on the inside than it looked on the outside and was in a bustling camp site. We were there for some kind of sports event, and everyone was selling and wearing signs and shirts with their teams colors. Then I remember smoke.

Something went wrong--there was a fire in the nearby forest, or the camp site, or something. Maybe one of the bonfires had gotten out of control.

I remember running.

I remember tripping and falling and desperately clawing at tree roots, trying to get back on my feet because we weren't just running; we were running away.

It took me a few years to realize that all these things didn't actually happen to me. It was the Quidditch World Cup in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. My dad read it to my brother and I before bed, and somehow I got so enraptured that it got melded in with my own memories.

Harry Potter is like that to me. It isn't just a book; it's a part of my life. And even though it's over (as of last night), it will always be home.

baby animal of the week: tapir

2011-07-13T20:45:00.000-07:00

Does anybody remember this whole baby animal thing? I know I didn't. Here's your (belated) dose of cute for the week:

Baby Tapir!

I honestly don't even understand this animal. It looks like five different creatures put together into one. And yet... oddly adorable. Am I the only one who thinks this is so awkwardly cute it makes me want to "squee!" ?

when my words don't make sense anymore

2011-07-12T19:46:00.001-07:00

Sorry for the extended leave of absence! I was away on my summer vacation--two words that hold a special place in my heart, right next to ice cream and getting things in the mail. And trust me, that means a lot when your town is a 7-hour drive from the nearest major city, and a 17-hour drive from your final destination.

And every year I am reminded of why it is so worth it to get out of town. Vancouver (a major Canadian city in southern BC, fyi) was celebrating it's 125th birthday with a 3 day festival in Stanley Park. They had performances from Canadian and international artists, like Said the Whale, Neko Case, Mother Mother, Aidan Knight and Dan Mangan. Their music was beautiful, the setting was amazing, and I'm so glad I went.

Here are some pictures from the official site, and I highly recommend you listen to some of their music, especially Aidan Knight and Dan Mangan, whom I may just have a massive crush on. They sound so beautiful, and we could all use something beautiful.

end of part one

2011-06-17T17:28:00.000-07:00

Oooh, my head, it hurts. I came home early from work today because I was feeling dizzy and lightheaded. Now I'm lying on my couch, feeling like I should accomplish something with my new found, obligation-free hour.

I feel like the beginning of a book is a lot like the ending. Not just because you should tie back to the beginning themes to create a feeling of continuity, blah blah blah, but because the second you sit down and start typing/writing, one of your book's many lives is over. It will never be the perfect, beautiful, untouchable book of your imagination. Once it's out in the world, it's there for good.

Books go through many incarnations, from a messy, all-over-the-place first draft to a finely polished final copy. But they all have to start with an idea. At some point, all the books in the entire world were just ideas. I don't think you could find one book out there that reads the same as what the author originally imagined.

I know I should start my WIP, but I want to spend a few more days dreaming about it, picturing it in its untainted form. I don't want the beginning to be over quite yet.

there is so much

2011-06-13T20:13:00.000-07:00

I think I'm going to go a bit crazy this summer. I can feel it coming on, like a cold or a bad hair day. I sense it.

I want to have one of those summers that people talk about for the rest of their lives. When I'm forty-three (like that'll happen), I can look back and say, "Wow, that summer of 2011 really was the summer of my life."

God, that's depressing. I hope I'm still having fun at forty-three.

I'm going to chop off my crazy curls, eat nothing but strawberry smoothies, and swing so high that the clouds reach out and pull me to them. Sunshine, sunshine, sky and stubble. If I could cast a spell on the world, I just might do it.

summer nights

2011-06-02T18:55:00.000-07:00

I like evenings like tonight, when I've eaten just enough to feel full but not too much. When the sun is sinking lower on the horizon, tinting everything in golden hues. When my eyes are wide open and sparkling with excitement and good things.

I've decided to try and write another novel this summer. I hate how pretentious that sounds. Like, oh, in between reading some Faulkner and playing Sibelius's Finlandia on the oboe, I think I'll try to squeeze in my eighteenth novel.

Not so much. But I have written two novels. God, that sounds crazy. One in November for NaNoWriMo, and one in March/April this year because I wanted to prove I could. I love this stage, when you tentatively commit yourself to an exciting new idea. But I still have months to pick an idea, flesh out characters, find pictures for visual inspiration, plot out scenes... Honestly, the prewriting has to be my favorite part.

I don't mean outlining. Outlining... is more specific. What I like is scribbling my character's names in the margins of my homework, writing down scraps of information here and there, and seeing a person on the street only to do a double take when they look exactly like someone I'm writing about or someone I'd like to write about.

I like to spend about a month or two figuring it out. Thinking about it. Contemplating, if you will (again with the pretentiousness). What about you? What do you do to psych yourself up for a new project?

June is good. Summer is good. I think I could get used to days like this.

evolution

2011-05-30T17:15:00.000-07:00

I was absolutely sure today would be sunny. So sure that I wore shorts--me! In shorts! It did get warm enough for people not to stare at my clothing choice like I was a complete idiot, but just a few minutes ago, it started raining. Not just raining, raining.

And then the sky started to growl.

I love thunderstorms. They're probably my favorite part of summer. Well, that and the raspberries.

I'm feeling a bit like the weather today. In transition. A few things that I thought either were or weren't important to me have been proving... different. I guess you never really know what's going to mean something to you. For instance, I thought I was over band. Sure, it's cool learning how to play an instrument, but the class can get stressful and tiring. But now? I don't know. I don't know anything anymore.

rapid fire

2011-05-28T21:14:00.000-07:00

I. Am. Excited.

Know why? Because I am a teenager. I am 16 years old, and basically everything that happens to me has the ability to be a life-changing, earth-shattering, re-write-the-beating-of-my-heart experience. For example: prom.

Prom is one of those things, like grad or cosmic bowling (no? That one's just me?) that either make you excited, or make you pretend not to be. This year isn't technically my prom, just a year-end dance. I have the dress, the shoes, and plans for a big bonfire afterward. Sometimes I feel... like I am too much for my body to contain. I'm like a ball of energy and excitement. Like some dying galaxy that is collapsing in on itself, radiating heat and light and anger and love.

And sometimes, like now, I just want to quietly implode.

guess who's back

2011-05-25T18:58:00.001-07:00

Hey guys!

So, um, I'm back. Yeah.

Sorry, let's try that one more time with a bit more hootzpuh: I'M BACK OH MY GOODNESS HEY!

All this time away has made me realize a couple things. For instance, if something doesn't make you happy, why keep it in your life? I know that's all lame and motivational-speaker-y, but really, why spend all your time on stuff that doesn't make you smile? For instance, right now I'm sitting on my couch, drinking a glass of water and typing this. Everything about this makes me feel A-okay.

Moving on... My grandparents are visiting this weekend. It's my brother's prom, followed by grad, which is crazy. He's going through all these life-affirming experiences, and here's me, still wearing a winter coat in May. I feel like I'm totally left behind.

I've also recently gotten into the habit of logging in on facebook, then just refreshing my home page every few minutes to see if anything interesting has happened. Nothing. Ever. Has.

Anyways, anyways, anyways. Maybe tomorrow I'll wear some shorts.

I'll miss you

2011-05-15T20:30:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow, at the ungodly hour of 5 AM, I will be hopping on a soon-to-be smelly and disgusting hockey bus and beginning the seventeen hour drive to Music Fest Canada. Forgive me if my excitement is a little too palpable.

I get to spend my bus time with a bunch of people that I like, though. And despite the close quarters, icky food and lack of air conditioning, the bus ride is always one of my favorite parts of the band trip. So I'll see you in a week, dearest blog. Wish me luck :)

"Draw a crazy picture,
Write a nutty poem,
Sing a mumble-gumble song,
Whistle through your comb.
Do a loony-goony dance
'Cross the kitchen floor,
Put something silly in the world
That ain't been there before."

-Shel Silverstein

nowhere girl

2011-05-11T19:27:00.000-07:00

I want to travel after I graduate. I want to visit all the continents and see new places and experience new cultures. But I like having my little nest--I like routine and I like having all my stuff and a place I'm used to. I love planning trips, though. Planning trips is like making to do lists. It all seems so brilliant and magical until you're actually there, actually doing everything. Sure, "visit open air market in Havana" might sound absolutely amazing, but when you're there, caked with sweat and stressed out from haggling or not-haggling over prices, it's a totally different experience.

It's... more real.

I think that's what makes me uncomfortable. I'm happy living this quiet, fictional life where everything is just so, and things happen according to the plot arc--but when things start to be really, well, real, you're completely vulnerable. And that can be a terrifying, incredible, wonderful thing.

I get so anxious over little and big things. It just comes naturally for me to over analyze and rethink everything. But reality isn't something you can pause while you work things out on the side.

Some days I don't feel like I'll find my fit anywhere. If I stay some place that I'm comfortable, I'll feel like I'm missing out. If I'm constantly on the move, I'll be in a constant state of mild-freaking-out. Maybe I'm just a nowhere girl.

In case you're wondering why I'm writing this, I'm going to be away next week on a band trip. Nowhere overly exotic (we're going to Vancouver, BC), but still a nice change. We're leaving Monday, hideously early in the morning, so I really need to start packing. Since I'm going to be one a bus for almost two days straight, I really need something to read. Something gripping enough to keep me interested even in the worst state of bus-blah, but not too heavy or thick.

Any book suggestions?

quote of the week

2011-05-09T18:34:00.000-07:00

Lately I've been collecting quotes and sayings that inspire me or make me feel something... new. Powerful. Heart-pounding. At the bookstore I work at I get to choose a weekly quote to display, and I think I'm going to do the same thing here.

Quote! Of! The! Week!

"I want to see thirst
In the syllables,
Tough fire
In the sound;
Feel through the dark
For the scream."

—Pablo Neruda

pass

2011-05-07T20:49:00.001-07:00

I think it's easiest to live in the past. In the present, it's all about what's happening right now. The decisions you make affect your life and everyone around you. And every moment you aren't taking advantage of is gone.

The future isn't too much better. It seems vast and full of possibilities, but the more you try to focus on those possibilities or what they could mean, the more suffocating the vastness can be.

The past is comforting. The past is nostalgic, sepia-toned, and tattered around the edges. It's already been edited by your mind into something ever so slightly different. I like to spend a lot of time in the past. So, to indulge myself, here are a few pictures from my family's past:

tickled pink

2011-05-05T18:50:00.000-07:00

If, for some reason, I can't make a living out of writing (because even though I'm only 16 I regularly think about these things), I would love to be an interior designer. I get excited when I think about picking out paint colors, sewing accent pillows and accessorizing a bookshelf. My latest decorating obsession: pink.

I've never had a pink room. I was never a "girly girl" and, more importantly, my bedroom was always too messy to even see the walls (okay, minor exaggeration, but as for the floor? Practically nonexistent). My current bedroom has been yellow for just over two years, and I think it's time for a change. A bright pink sparkly change! Or something a little more sophisticated and calm--something pale pink and French looking. Whatever shade it is, I can't stop thinking pink:

band jokes

2011-05-04T18:57:00.000-07:00

I've been playing the trumpet for almost five years. I love taking a deep breath, putting the cool metal to my lips, and making some noise. For the love of all things noisy, band-related and at least slightly musical, here are some bad-but-good band jokes for you:

Q: What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?
A: A drummer.

Q: How many euphonium players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: What the heck is a euphonium?

Q: How many conductors does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Only one, but then again, who's really watching?

Q: What's the difference between a basoon and a trampoline?
A: You take your shoes off to jump on the trampoline!

Q: What's the definition of a gentleman?
A: Someone who knows how to play the trumpet and doesn't.

Q: Why did Mozart kill his chickens?
A: Because they always ran around screaming, "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

What about you--do you play any instruments? Were you ever in a band, concert or otherwise?

to be read

2011-05-03T21:05:00.000-07:00

TBR. Those three letters that send a swirling vortex of emotions howling through the very pit of my stomach. Wow, sorry that was such a poor analogy.

Working at a bookstore is fun, really, it is. But the ratio of time spent reading compared to time spent actually working is pretty shocking. Toss in the fact that I get a discount on books, and my To Be Read pile can pretty much be seen from space (I kid you not. NASA has sent me many threatening letters saying I'm blocking their view of North America).

Don't believe me? Take a look:

On the one hand, maybe I'm being a bit dramatic. It's not like I have to read all these books. But I want to! This particular collection (and yes, that is a pink hippo sitting on my bed. Say hi to Milk) consists of all the books that were sitting on my bookshelf that I haven't read, and am actually going to make an effort to read.

Guess what guys? While you may note that there are mostly YA books sitting on my bed (lounging, really), there are actually twelve non-YA books (either Adult Fiction or Biography). TWELVE. I think this is a sign. My taste in books is slowly growing up, even if I'm not.

These are the books I bought on my last Book Buying Binge (these things happen). A couple new releases and a couple books I've either been too lazy or too broke to buy previously. I'm currently reading Need by Carrie Jones, and the The Return: Nightfall, a Vampire Diaries novel by LJ Smith. Notice a trend? Yup, I don't think I'll ever get sick of Paranormal or Urban Fantasy. Although it my bed could be a little more comfortable...

the vampire diaries (or, how many times can you kill a character?)

2011-05-02T18:45:00.000-07:00

(Contains spoilers of the Vampire Diaries book series--run and hide if you don't want to know!)

A couple weeks ago, I had this crazy idea to try reading the Vampire Diaries. One of my friends has been pushing it on me for a while, and the TV show (or at least the actors) is pretty good. So I got book one from the library. And now I'm halfway through the third volume.

I think the first book was my favorite--the writing itself wasn't anything overly special, but after only a few sentences I would have a total mental image of what I was reading. But with vampires, the whole I want to be with you forever, kill me and drink my blood and make me like you! topic inevitably comes up.

I think death has a special place in YA and fiction in general. I know a lot of people have complained about the lack of parents in YA. I personally don't mind, but I think that death has to affect your characters in a way that almost nothing else can. I've also read a lot of blog posts and articles that explicitly say you can't kill your characters at the beginning of the book. It just doesn't work.

When your characters die, they become something else--something that readers don't connect with nearly as much. This is true for me, anyways. In the vampire diaries, Elena (the MC) not only dies and becomes a vampire--she dies again, this time for good. But then she comes back as a child-like spirit thing. And then she turns into her old, human self.

Is your head spinning, too?

Not only is confusing to keep all the characters and their states of life-or-death straight, it makes it really difficult to connect to Elena when her personality keeps changing. To me, death in fiction is like the ultimate plot twist. It should be used only when absolutely necessary, it should affect everyone else to the very core of their being, and, once death happens, you can't back out of it.

happy birthday, MC

2011-04-30T21:39:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is my mom's birthday, so we've been scrambling over the past few days to buy presents and put together something (note the extreme vagueness, just in case she's reading this now. Hi mum!) for tomorrow night. In my week attempt to tie this back to writing, I was wondering, how does your MC celebrate their birthday?

I always order Indian food to go, and sit on the couch and watch a movie (preferably something funny and/or stupid). Harry Potter sits in his room at the Dursleys', eagerly awaiting presents and news from Ron and Hermione. Bella Swan probably stares at Edward all day.

Whoever you are and whatever your idea of a good time (ie: staring at Robert Pattinson) is, what you do on your birthday (and what you ask for, as presents) says a lot about you. The MC of the book I just finished, Lucy, spends her birthdays eating junk food and watching trashy movies at her best-friend-who's-a-human's house, then comes home to perform some birthday rituals with her Gran. Witches--crazy stuff.

How does your main character celebrate their birthday?

friday five: good things

2011-04-29T21:01:00.001-07:00

Today was full of some wonderful stuff, so I'm going to try and resurrect the "Friday Five" idea, however briefly, with a list of good things:

Breakfast. No matter how many times you say "most important meal of the day," breakfast is still seriously undervalued and often skipped. Here's to you, trusty cereal bowl. You make my mornings infinitely delicious.

Sunshine. In April. This crazy natural phenomenon almost--almost--made me wish I was still taking PE. Then I remembered the sweaty change room, the horrendously embarrassing gymnastics unit, and my innate lack of talent for athletics. Still, the sun was nice.

Libraries. Public libraries are like the universe's gift to completely broke teenage writer-reader-type-people. The only downside is that when a cute boy is working, I take out books that will make me look smart and interesting, rather than stuff I'll actually read...

Weddings. I don't care if monarchies are largely outdated and symbolic rather than actually useful. I think they're darling, and a nice bit of history. Plus Wills and Kate are totally adorable. THEY HAD TREES INSIDE A CHURCH. So cool.

Warm jackets on cool spring days. It's like curling up under your blankets--but portable! No way! Whoever invented jackets should run for prime minister, or something. Except they're probably dead.

Hope your 29 April was ab-fab, darlings. Have a lovely weekend,

Erika

The Dark and Hollow Places

2011-04-28T17:26:00.000-07:00

If you haven't read the first two books in Carrie Ryan's brilliant, post-apocalyptic zombie trilogy, YOU NEED TO RIGHT NOW. They are not only extremely well written and thrilling--this post also contains some spoilers for the third book. So, run away and do some crazy reading. See you soon.

Please close the window unless you want some hardcore spoilers.

Okay, you're good?

Are you sure?

Well, alrighty then.

There are many things that Annah would like to forget: the look on her sister's face before Annah left her behind in the Forest of Hands and Teeth, her first glimpse of the Horde as they swarmed the Dark City, the sear of the barbed wire that would scar her for life. But most of all, Annah would like to forget the morning Elias left her for the Recruiters.

Annah's world stopped that day, and she's been waiting for Elias to come home ever since. Somehow, without him, her life doesn't feel much different than the dead that roam the wasted city around her. Until she meets Catcher, and everything feels alive again.

But Catcher has his own secrets. Dark, terrifying truths that link him to a past Annah has longed to forget, and to a future too deadly to consider. And now it's up to Annah: can she continue to live in a world covered in the blood of the living? Or is death the only escape from the Return's destruction?

Carrie Ryan's trilogy, named after the first novel "The Forest of Hands and Teeth", is basically the ultimate combination as far as fiction goes: a fast paced plot that makes it impossible to put down, and a deep, often painful emotional quality that makes the stakes incredibly high.

Before I go on, we need to get one thing straight. I am terrified of zombies. The idea of them--the living dead--as an unstoppable, emotionless force that could one day take over the world, eating and killing everything in their path. Yeah, it freaks me out.

The zombies in Carrie Ryan's go by many names. Unconsecrated, Forsaken, Mudo, plague rats. They're slow moving and not too bright, but they move like a tidal wave, unstoppable and unshakable. The action in Ryan's novels is totally edge-of-your-seat, can't-put-down-even-to-cross-the-street good. This third book was especially amazing. The main character, Annah, is super strong and totally independent. She's willing to do anything to keep herself--and the people that she loves--safe. She's one of those people that you would definitely want to be friends with, but also never ever cross.

I think my favorite part of the whole book, though, is how little it sounded like someone had actually written it. I'm guessing that didn't make any sense, let me rephrase it: the writer was completely invisible. When there was narration, it was all Annah talking. I've heard this bit of advice many, many times, but I never really understood it until reading this book.

You just put yourself in their place, breathe with their lungs and feel the beat of their heart. And that's what Carrie Ryan did, superbly.

I'M DONE!

2011-04-25T19:42:00.000-07:00

Yesterday night I finished the first draft of my WIP which is currently named Something Wicked. It's about witches, curses, boys, forests, spells, potions, spirits and other fun stuff. Okay, because I'm sure that gave you so much information, I'll have a better description for you soon. For tonight: No writing! No creating! No thinking outside the word document!

It sounds awful. It sounds like some kind of cruel punishment. But for tonight, it is just the kind of release I need.

Also, the rare second I wasn't working diligently on my WIP (ahem, actually, I think I qualify for a Nobel Prize in Procrastination), I found some cool interwebs-type-stuff.

Letters to Dead People is a tumblr blog with pictures of, well, letters to dead people. It's a project started by Celine Song, but she also takes suggestions. It's a bit depressing, sometimes hilarious, and often unspeakably beautiful.
Tim Walker, a photographer whose fantastical, bizarre pictures have been featured in copies of Vogue all over the world.
Living Etc, a British home decor magazine that never fails to be colorful, original, and totally inspirational. Did I mention that I'm going to be painting my room this spring? Pink! Pink! Pink! I feel like Evie :)

And now, a little bit of everything:

Erika feels accomplished right now. I can't believe I've written two novels in my life. Maybe one day someone else will get to read them.

Hope you had a great Easter, everybody.

Erika

easter write-a-thon

2011-04-21T17:25:00.000-07:00

This weekend is Easter weekend, which means a whopping four days off school. And tomorrow, the Friday of all Fridays, I am determined to finish my WIP.

I'm 38k in so far, and I have a rough idea of how I'm going to finish the whole thing. It's all about witches and potions and contracts that go back generations. When it's all done, I can give you guys a better description. For now, I just want to get it finished so I can hide it away and not think about it for a few years to come.

Anyways! Three simple steps to the perfect one-day write-a-thon:

A place to write. For me, this is my bedroom. It's relatively quiet, and away from both other people and a television (you have no idea how important this is for me).
A good breakfast. It's the most important meal of the day, right? So how are you supposed to battle monsters and cast spells without it? I'm torn between pancakes, French toast, or a great big bowl of cereal. Either way, there will be chocolate involved.
A plan. I know this is boring, especially if you're an all-out pantser. But I like to have at least some idea of where I'm going. My whole WIP takes place over the span of about two months, and I'm down to the last two days. With a little luck, I only have one more day to go before before it's all done.

I hope you can get some writing done over the long weekend--or, better yet, spend it with your family. And, when I do finish, I plan on rewarding myself with something wonderful and chocolate filled. Always a good way to get me through the day :)

Erika

30k

2011-04-17T10:39:00.000-07:00

So I'm guessing it doesn't particularly matter to anyone, but I've hit 30k in my WIP. The word novel sounds so thought out and serious. This is not a thought out and serious affair. But I'm proud of myself, and I bought a new book to celebrate. I'll post about my TBR pile soon. For now, have a great Sunday :)

bad days

2011-04-12T20:33:00.000-07:00

Today was a bad day in a succession of bad days. But, on the plus side, I finally understood what people mean when they talk about writing being their escape. Of course, writing has always been an escape for me--I got to imagine different people and places, and I got to be there rather than wherever I was.

But the physical act of writing down, of creating my own story, was really what got me through today. I loved knowing that, when I got home from work, I could disappear into my own world. It's a fantastic feeling--but I don't want my real life to suffer, either. What do you think: Does writing only act as an escape when your actual life is falling apart? Is it better to love the writing and revel in that happiness, or try to patch things up elsewhere?

For now, I'm going to sit on the couch, drink some tea, and write some words. It's pretty much my idea of a good time.

Erika

the language of trees

2011-04-10T12:46:00.000-07:00

Oms mah God.

I read at a poetry reading last night. It was called "The Language of Trees" and took place at an art gallery, which was showing an exhibition all about trees. About twenty-five people showed up--maybe twelve people reading poetry, and the rest listening. Everyone was lovely and encouraging, and there were so many beautiful words but...

I was terrified.

Anyways, here's my official introduction that I came up with in about thirty seconds:

I'm 16 years old, and I've lived here my entire life. When I was about 8, my dad taught me the difference between coniferous and deciduous trees*. I thought I was amazing, that I knew these secret words that of course no one else did. Like this was some magnificent secret of the universe. This poem is about my brother, who is easy-going and wonderful. If he were a tree, he would be deciduous, his leaves swaying in the wind. And I would be coniferous. Solid, anxious, constant.

The glow of TV light
Shines on lost landmarks
The crooked curve of your nose--twice broken
From some ancient grudge against the universe.
You've skinned your knees more times than I can count
And you always lose at scissors-paper-rock.

It isn't bad luck.
Bad luck would be
Walking under ladders or
Driving the wrong way down a one way street.
But you were born with a flashing smile,
The only natural adaptation that
Will save you from predators and get you a date to prom.

You laugh it off
You laugh everything off
One day I wonder if your jaw will fall apart
From all this laughing--and
How will you cope with that?
You shrug.

You turn your face to the sun
A mask of freckles and
Honest green eyes
My friend, you were never far from perfect
If only you weren't too stubborn
To pull over
And ask for directions.

And my other poem:

I met you on the mountain top
Where the air is thin
And the ground is raw

We talked for hours
About the wind and the birds
And the gap between your teeth

There was no grass to fold beneath our feet,
No trees to carve our initials
And all our false forevers into

If you forget and I doubt myself
It will be like it never really happened.

Loads of love,
Erika

*Deciduous trees have leaves, and the leaves fall off in the winter. Coniferous trees have cones, and keep their needles all year--they're evergreens. Now you can know the secret too :)

2011-04-05T21:12:00.000-07:00

“All men are children, and of one family. The same tale sends them all to bed, and wakes them in the morning.” – Henry David Thoreau

14 day anniversary

2011-04-04T19:32:00.000-07:00

La, la, la, magic, magic, magic.

I've been tracking my progress each day for the novel I'm working on. It's pretty easy--just a simple table in a Word document where I record the date, how many days I've been working on it, that day's word count, and my total word count. And guess what?

Today is my two week anniversary!

Now, obviously, I should be spending this time working on my first draft (which, after 14 days work, is still a meager 16k), but I'm going to take a second to celebrate. Two weeks is kind of a big deal, especially because I've been working on this and this alone. That's a big commitment. It's not great--it isn't even good at this point--but I'm still writing.

Now, this calls for CHOCOLATE!

Love,
Erika

baby animal of the week: hedgehog

2011-03-31T20:01:00.000-07:00

Because I forgot...

Just something cute to get you through the day :)

we are choices

2011-03-31T19:44:00.001-07:00

So I mentioned a few days ago that I am horrible at making decisions. Really. I will complain for hours, ask the opinion of everyone within earshot, worry constantly, and get super stressed out when I'm forced to make a decision. And that's usually just minor stuff--what color should I paint my room? Should I pierce my nose? Do these jeans make my butt look big? (Kidding about the last one, by the way. If my butt's big, it's going to look big no matter what I'm wearing, and I'll be proud of it!)

When it comes to minor choices, I freak out. I think that's because I'm so terrified of getting something wrong. My whole life, I have gotten things right. I get straight As, I practice things, I memorize facts and I answer questions. I know that makes me sound horribly conceited, and I'm sorry, but it really isn't a good thing.

Major decisions, I can usually figure out. Give me a few days, or maybe weeks, and I eventually decide what's best for me. Like yesterday, for example, when I decided the classes I'll be taking next year.

No big deal, right? But these courses determine which classes I take in grade eleven, as well as which courses I'm able to take in grade twelve, and which subjects I can study in university.

I'm taking a whole ton of academic courses: Bio, Physics, Chemistry, Pre-Calculus, English, Socials, French and--my one fun class--Photography.

For some reason, even though I know I've made the right choice for me, I'm gripped by this awful fear. I don't want to get this wrong. I don't want to get my life wrong.

So there we go. I just wanted to vent, I'm sorry. Life is stressful, life is anxious, life is... distinctly wonderful. And I hope I've made the right decision--I hope I will be happy--but even if I haven't, even if I'm not, I won't regret anything.

excuses, excuses

2011-03-28T19:14:00.000-07:00

Good evening, my friends,

I'm sorry, I do realize it's been 12 days since I last posted anything. I spent my spring break in a rather uneventful fashion, visiting my dad in the small town he's been working in. The downtown was small and lonely. As someone who has spent her entire life in a small town surrounded by mountains, it shocks me that other places are so open, so unguarded. On the plus side, I got to ride the train, reading trashy magazines. Very posh.

I'm attempting to work on a story right now. I'm only 8k in, and it already needs some serious work. Maybe I'll finish the first draft first, maybe I won't. It's awfully exciting, though, starting something new. I have an idea of what will happen, and what needs to happen, but there's so many possible directions I could take it in...

It's quite daunting, all the choices. This coming from a girl who takes up to twenty minutes to decide between breakfast cereals. Yeah.

Hope your spring is off to a fabulous start :)

Erika

where do you write?

2011-03-16T19:44:00.001-07:00

Happy Wednesday, world.

I just wanted to post quickly to ask you a question that's been bugging me a lot lately:

Where do you write?

I don't have any space in my house that is clean and orderly and, well, inspiring. All those beautiful pictures of nice and neat offices or libraries, painted bright yellow or soothing green... Yeah, not happening. But I think it would be fantastic to have a space wholly devoted to writing and creating. Especially a cork-board for pictures or outlining to hang above your writing space.

Yeah, that'd be awesome.

So where do you do your writing? Do you have a dream office, or a cupboard under the stairs? At least Harry Potter was organized.

teaser wednesday

2011-03-09T20:49:00.000-08:00

Believe it or not, I was totally stoked for yesterday. Why? Because it just isn't the same to do Teaser Tuesday on a Wednesday.

As some of you may know, I've started writing a YA Urban Fantasy novel. And when I say started, I really do mean barely-have-any-words-written. I'm on page three, guys. But I'm excited, and I'm happy, and it's about witches, which I love. And these are the first two paragraphs:

I love to watch my grandmother work. Her bony hands are a blur as she chops a piece of ginger into fine ribbons. When she’s happy with the ginger, she dumps it into the cauldron simmering away over the fire. Yup, you read that right. Gran thinks making potions on the stove—or, God forbid, in the microwave—is practically sacrilege. Says the woman who stores her eye of newt in a Tupperware container.

My grandmother is a witch. Or, at least, that’s one word for it. I like to think of her as more of a healer. She makes potions and poultices for everything from tooth aches to ingrown toe nails. And she’s allergic to cats. I don’t think you’re allowed to call yourself a witch unless you have a black cat.

Anyways... I need to get back to work! See you later.

Erika

baby animal of the week: arctic fox

2011-03-03T21:24:00.000-08:00

Good evening, blogosphere. So, my 16th birthday was in January, which means that I can take a test to get my learner's permit to drive. But... I haven't studied. I'm just starting now, which is very bad. Also, it's near blizzard conditions outside, so I'm not sure this whole 'driving' thing is a good idea.

I know, I know, that's not why you're looking at this. Without further ado:

It looks so warm!

write what you don't know

2011-02-28T15:41:00.001-08:00

When I was little, I would get so frustrated when I tried to write something and it just didn't work out. And I often blamed this on my parents.

Was it their fault that I didn't plot out story lines so I would know what had to happen next? Was it their fault my characters and scenarios were so cliche they bordered on absurd? Was it their fault I had little to no will power when it came to sticking to one story?

No. No, it wasn't.

But even at the tender age of eight, I had heard the phrase "Write what you know!" so many times, that I believed I could only write truthfully about things that had happened to me, or people I knew. So I blamed my parents for giving me such a happy, fulfilling, even generic childhood. Sure, it had its bad times, but I wasn't raised by wolves or the abandoned child of royalty (I look far too much like both my parents for this to be true).

I blamed them for robbing me of my possible stories.

And then I read some books on writing, and I went to a summer camp for young writers, and I learned some stuff. Specifically: Write what you love. How did J.R.R. Tolkein write about Middle Earth when he had obviously never been there? How does any fantasy, sci-fi, or paranormal fiction writer come up with the things they do--they've never ridden a dragon or piloted a space ship to Mars.

So, in my humble, utterly-unpublished-and-under-qualified opinion, there's really only one rule as far as writing goes. Write something that you would love to read. And, to make it feel true, you have to take it to a place that you know emotionally.

For example, I've spent the past few months desperately trying to write a contemporary YA novel. Why? Because I wanted to write something that I knew. And, somewhere in the back of my mind, this little voice is saying, "People respect contemporary writing. People will take you seriously and say that your book is beautiful and profound. If you write an Urban Fantasy novel, people will ignore you or laugh at you."

That isn't true. And I know better. The thing is, I really couldn't get myself beyond this doubt until just a few days ago, when I started writing something that's kind of fantasy-ish. And it's way more fun than that contemporary ever would've been.

I don't mean to knock true-to-life stories, or even contemporary fiction. I just want you to embrace whatever it is that makes your heart race, and put it down on paper.

Happy Monday,

Erika

feeling the love

2011-02-25T21:59:00.000-08:00

I just wanted to quickly apologize to you guys for being such a fail blogger lately. I haven't posted regularly in a while, and I'm really sorry. But March is the beginning of a new era! (Or... something like that.) I hope to be seeing much more of you.

And also, fourteen followers?! Holy crap! Thank you guys so much for thinking I'm even remotely interesting. Thank you for being amazing and supportive and every other positive adjective in the entire dictionary, including but not limited to the following: sensational, fantastic, electrifying, heart-warming, lovely, and beautiful. You make my day.

As an added thanks: Belated baby panda pictures!

I can't even begin to comprehend how adorable baby pandas are. Really.

friends who like books

2011-02-21T18:59:00.001-08:00

Sorry sorry sorry guys. I know I haven't posted in, um, a while. Are you going through some serious baby animal withdrawal? I know I am.

The first thing I wanted to talk about is the squiggly red line that shows up under misspelled words on Microsoft Word. It annoys me so much, especially when I'm sure that I've spelled the word right. The funny part is that even if I haven't spelled it right, as I soon discover, I will remain utterly convinced that my mediocre spelling is correct, and a computer loaded with countless dictionary programs is wrong. Still, if you ignore the line long enough, it sometimes goes away.

Thing number two: Guilt. My mom always says that guilt is a useless emotion. You can't really do anything constructive with it (unless that guilt inspires another emotional), and it certainly isn't good for you. So I think we all need to stop feeling so guilty. Easier said than done, I know.

And finally, the main event. I love my friends. I love books. Combine the two, and you have the perfect sandwich of perfect stuff ever created: friends who love books. It's such a great thing to see your friend get all excited about a book, especially if you read it/have read it and can be excited about it, too. Sharing an experience like that, listening to the same stories, making it through hundreds of the same pages, can make you indescribably close.

See you later, friends.

Erika

ARGH (or, why high school bugs me)

2011-02-10T20:34:00.001-08:00

I am so incredibly jealous of all you people who are done with high school. Really, you have no idea.

There are a few things I absolutely cannot stand about high school:

Teachers who really don't want to be there and do not enjoy teaching.
Students who really don't want to be there, and insist on making stupid comments that distract everyone else.
Having to pack a lunch that's easy to pack and transport.
High school relationships. Really? Really?
Other people judging you on what you're wearing and who you're hanging out with.
People constantly assuming that teenagers are wild and crazy and love to party--and insisting that high school is the best time of your life.

And then there are the things that generally make it worthwhile:

My friends, people who I would never get to spend all day, five days a week, hanging out with, in any other location.
Meeting people that you would never meet anywhere else.
Learning new things. I know that sounds stupid, but how many people are going to study the history of Canadian fur trading unless they're getting graded on it?
Decorating your lockers--it's like the ultimate personal space, even if it's painfully small and sometimes hard to remember the combo to.
Band. If I didn't go to high school, I wouldn't be in school band. If I wasn't in school band, I wouldn't get to have those amazing, almost out-of-body experiences when all that matters is this wonderful noise that you're creating.

This year, I've decided to make Valentine's for all the lovely people who make high school enjoyable (to be fair, I actually enjoy it most of the time--tonight I'm just particularly frustrated!). Sooo... this has been my ridiculously long winded way of asking you if you know any dorky jokes/cheesy pick up lines/lame Valentine's sayings. Really, the worse the better.

Have a great weekend,

Erika

little things 3

2011-02-05T17:22:00.000-08:00

La la life. Sa-sa-Saturday. Th-th-ings I love:

Books.
The color pink
Valentine's Day--only nine more days!

Today has been one of those days when it's hard to pick out the good stuff. What about you? What puts a smile on your face?

baby animal of the week: giraffe

2011-02-03T18:28:00.000-08:00

Good evening. What was that? What did you say? Oh, um, maybe... GIRAFFE?

Giraffes are my mom's favorite animal. She visited the zoo once when she was little, and a giraffe licked her. Giraffes have purple tongues. Oh my gosh.

I kind of love giraffes because they're awkward, and have pretty patterns, and they're tall. I love tall animals. They make me feel better about my height.

And they have purple tongues.

literary soulmates

2011-02-01T20:36:00.000-08:00

Name: Erika
Genre: anything YA
Likes: chocolate, of course. ABBA, cats, photography and the ocean. Also, long walks on the beach.
Dislikes: almond milk (bleh!), cantaloupe and shrimp. Spelling mistakes, and people who use text talk in emails.
Looking for: A critique partner/partner in crime who is also starting or planning a new project. Someone who can hold me accountable for not writing, not take excuses, and hopefully understand my random babbling. Someone who's excited about their story, and can be excited about mine, too.

Looking for your literary soul mate? (Since when is that two words?!) The super nice and always hilarious writer Natalie Whipple is arranging the online dating site of critique partners. I kid you not.

She had a few quick questions on her blog that you just answer, email to her, and watch as the magic happens. I think it's a really fantastic idea, and a great way to get in touch with other people with the same interests or desires. Oh yes, I went there.

Happy Tuesday, guys.

Erika

word clouds and post nano buds

2011-01-31T17:52:00.001-08:00

Nathan Bransford made a word cloud. The first thing I thought when I saw this was: Wow, orange is a pretty color. The second thing was: A lot of people I like say orange is their favorite color.

But the third thing, ooooh the third thing: I WANT A WORD CLOUD!

The majority of it is about French, because of my last post, but it doesn't matter. It's so beautiful. If you want to make your own, go here. Saving it was a bit of a hassle, but they go over that in the FAQ.

Also: I like pink. It might be a 'girly' color, but I think it's pretty and passionate and fun. Red's good, too.

I'm meeting up with my writerly friends tonight. It's our first post-NaNoWriMo write-in, and I can't help but be a little apprehensive that I won't be able to write without that massive pressure--or that I'll feel too much pressure with all these intelligent people typing away next to me. I also worry that I may go crazy on caffeine and leap across the counter to steal all the delicious desserts.

Oh my.

Now I'm just going to float to my meeting... ON MY WORD CLOUD (look up).

Erika

little things 2

2011-01-30T11:37:00.000-08:00

Ack. So, because I was too busy dancing the night away (I'm serious, guys. This is like, a new record for socializing.) to post yesterday, here's a recap of good things from this week:

Power outages
Reading by candlelight
Empanadas
Dancing Queen
Dancing with other people, no matter how badly. Just moving for a single purpose.

I went to a 'Latin Night' last night, and I danced. A lot. For those of you who don't know this about me, I am a dreadful dancer. Okay, so it's not that shocking. Anyways, I was literally dancing till one in the morning last night, which was super embarrassing by also ridiculously fun.

What about you? Got any little things to shout about this week?

the most beautiful places: picture time

2011-01-28T21:25:00.001-08:00

All pictures are from here. Hope they inspire you, in one way or another :)

the most beautiful places

2011-01-28T20:52:00.001-08:00

"America is my country, but Paris is my hometown." -Gertrude Stein

Two summers ago, my family went to Paris. Well, to be fair, we went to visit my mum's family in the Czech Republic, and ended up spending a week in Paris on the way home. "Ended up." That sounds so casual and chic. Actually, I had been planning and researching our trip for about six months, and basically freaked out whenever we did anything that wasn't on the schedule.

Ah, to be fourteen and obsessive again.

Anyways, that's definitely not the point of this. The point of this is that French--the language and the culture--is really beautiful. I know everyone talks about how beautiful and alive Paris is, and sometimes it sounds like it can never live up to it's reputation, but it does. Definitely.

I live in Canada, and take French in school*. The class is pretty repetitive and boring, but knowing that it gives me the opportunity to maybe, someday, travel or live somewhere so amazing is really nice.

I want to live in one of those places where you're so awed and inspired by your surroundings that life feels like a painting.

Also, I got my copy of Anna and the French Kiss by Stephanie Perkins today (link to her fabulous blog here). That and my current WIP are getting me in the mood for some French!

My language skills are so far from proficient. But I thought I would share a few helpful verbs, just in case you ever end up in Paris.

*By the way, my level of French is probably like kindergarten to someone fluent.

Rappeler = to remember

Je rappelle = I remember, I am remembering, I do remember
Tu rappelles = You remember
Il/Elle rappelle = He/She remembers
Nous rappelons = We remember
Vous rappelez = You (plural + formal) remember
Ils/Elles rappellent = They (masc/fem) remember

Souhaiter = to wish

Je souhaite = I wish
Tu souhaites = You wish (ha)
Il/Elle souhaite = He/She wishes
Nous souhaitons = We wish
Vous souhaitez = You (plural + formal) wish
Ils/Elles souhaitent = They wish

Aimer = to love

J'aime = I love
Tu aimes = You love
Il/Elle aime = He/She loves
Nous aimons = We love
Vous aimons = You (plural + formal) love
Ils/Elles aiment = They love

baby animal of the week: seal

2011-01-27T21:18:00.000-08:00

So, I feel like I should be blogging something with more substance. That will come soon, my friends, I promise. But, as today is Thursday... BABY SEALS!

OH MY GOSH SO CUTE. Today my day has been not so great. Which is why I am immensely looking forward to the day when I get to graduate high school and go and live my life somewhere else. Hmm... The Arctic Circle looks better and better every day.

Have a brill rest-of-week.

australia day

2011-01-26T11:50:00.000-08:00

Happy Australia Day!

As I live in Canada, I have to wait until July to show my true patriotic passion (or something like that). I've never been to Australia, but I would really like to. I'm convinced that, post-graduation, a few of my friends and I should spend two months in Australia. Well, it kind of varies between Australia, New York City, Peru, and the moon.

But if you live in Australia, or if you've been there before, I would love to hear more about it. What's it like? What's your favorite part of Australia/favorite thing to do/strangest thing you've ever seen there?

Also, as I have a deep, burning love for marsupials, have you ever seen a kangaroo? Or a wombat? Or a koala?

I'm sorry that basically all of my ideas about Australia are complete cliches. Here's a completely relevant picture of Jesse Spencer to make it up to you.

IT'S JESSE SPENCER!

"Holy Haberdashery, Batman!"

2011-01-25T19:12:00.000-08:00

Oh, Batman. When I was little, my brother and I loved to watch Batman cartoons on TV. One Halloween, we were even going to dress up as Batman and Robin. My brother cut the Batman logo off of a cereal box and taped it to his t-shirt--but then, at the last second, he changed his mind, wore loose-fitting clothes, and dressed up as our dad, instead. So I was Robin. Just Robin.

Because I just had my English provincial exam, I'm going to through some terminology at you guys. Robin is a foil for Batman. He's the young, naive, sometimes-misguided sidekick who asks stupid questions and relies on Batman for answers. Batman is as wise as he is tough, and is always ready to impart his cool genius through gems like, "In good bat-climbing as in good driving one must never sacrifice safety for speed."

The point is, they just don't work without each other.

So I thought I'd spend today looking back on the wisdom of Batman. His over the top morals--Robin's overuse of the word "gosh". It was good times. It was the best of times. Also, you can thank Batman for teaching children everywhere the importance of grammar, paying parking meters, dental hygiene, and pureness of hearts.

Robin: "You can't get away from Batman that easy!"
Batman: "Easily."
Robin: "Easily."
Batman: "Good grammar is essential, Robin."
Robin: "Thank you."
Batman: "You're welcome."

Batman: "Better put 5 cents in the meter."
Robin: "No policeman's going to give the Batmobile a ticket."
Batman: "This money goes to building better roads. We all must do our part."

Robin: "Holy molars! Am I ever glad I take good care of my teeth!"
Batman: "True. You owe your life to dental hygiene."

Batman: "Haven't you noticed how we always escape the vicious ensnarements of our enemies?"
Robin: "Yeah, because we're smarter than they are!"
Batman: "I like to think it's because our hearts are pure."

Robin: "That's an impossible shot, Batman."
Batman: "That's a negative attitude, Robin."

All quotes are from here. Have a great day.

little things 1

2011-01-22T16:36:00.000-08:00

Because I can never think of anything remotely worth blogging about (sorry!), I've decided to post little things that make me smile, every Saturday. So here we go:

New toothbrushes
See-through teapots and flowering tea
Books in alphabetic order
That funny feeling you get when you think about someone you really like
Chewy ginger snaps

What about you? What makes you smile today?

Erika

baby animal of the week: penguin

2011-01-20T16:49:00.000-08:00

In honor of the extremely slushy and snowy weather I've been walking through all day, I bring you the baby penguin:

I wonder if adorableness counts as a method of self defense. Like, leopard-seals-can't-even-bring-themselves-to-eat-you cute.

Hope you have wonderful weather,

Erika

tuuuesday

2011-01-18T21:18:00.000-08:00

I have exams next week. Oh my gooooosh, I need to study, extremely lots. Sometimes I feel like if I try to stuff anymore information in my poor little head, I won't be able to remember my name, or where I live, and I'll just wander around without a home or a place for the rest of my life. Which, compared to the alternative of no studying whatsoever, sound, eh, alright.

I've been studying plate tectonics and poetry terms. What? I can't wait for my English provincial, when I start listing the layers of the Earth and their thicknesses, rather than talking about situational irony.

Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday. One week from now, I will be done my exams, and that will be a very happy thing. Till June, when they multiply.

So we'll end the day on a positive note. Sunflowers are happy... right? Where am I? LITHOSPHERE!

(image from weheartit.com--let me know if it belongs to you!)

Have a monumental (damn it--I should've used that on Monday!) week, boys and girls.

Love,
Erika

in defense of fanfiction

2011-01-17T19:12:00.000-08:00

I feel really bad that, all of the times I've mentioned fanfiction in the past, I've referred to it as something that takes time away from "real writing". Just because the original work on which your story is based was written by someone else, a good fanfiction still begins with an unique idea.

Maybe it's just me, but I often see people describe fanfiction writers as something "less"**. The main purpose of a fanfiction (and sorry for using the word so many times--I can't seem to think of a decent pronoun) is to entertain. Like all stories should. Writers = entertainers = story tellers. It's the same thing, no matter what your genre or starting point is.

Some of the most creative scenes and characters I've read have been in fanfictions. That's why I love sites like fanfiction.net that provide a place to publish your stories. Writing fanfiction isn't just a fun hobby to exercise your writing muscles--you can get feedback and critiques on your writing, plus make a few friends who are interested in the same things as you. Okay, sorry, way to sound like a greeting card. But think about it--let's say you really hate the ending of a book (for example, the epilogue of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows). By writing a fanfiction, not only can you write as some of your all time favorite characters, you can control the outcomes.

The one good thing about fanfiction not being considered as important or artistic by some people as, say, writing a novel, is that you don't have to take yourself too seriously. Come up with a username, write a story, and put your work out there. You can have fun with random scenarios, one-shots, and the most ridiculous dialogue (the term "Merlin's magic panties" came up the other day). And if you want to improve your writing style, why not work at it while doing something fun?

In short, yes, I write a fanfiction. No, I'm not a crazy fan-girl, and I don't spend all my time on it. In the future, I want to be writing novels--but writing fanfiction is a really fun way that I can connect to people who like the same books as me, and apparently like my writing. Huh. How about that.

**I'm sorry, I really don't me to generalize, but bring up "fanfiction" in a conversation has always made me feel weird and kind of inadequate compared to those people--you know, the ones who read Tolstoy when they were six, and are working on their latest work of speculative fiction.

I want to have fun with writing. I believe that I like having fun.

city of updates

2011-01-16T10:47:00.000-08:00

I don't know if anyone else is a massive Cassandra Clare fangirl (we can be friends!), but I have seriously been falling down on my duties as a City of Bones freak. Not only has the cover of the fourth book in the Mortal Instruments series (City of Fallen Angels) been revealed, Lily Collins has been cast to play the main character, Clary, in the movie.

OH MY GOSH Cover:
NO WAY Lily Collins:
If you haven't read the series, and thus have no idea what I'm going on about, here's one of my favorite quotes from Jace, the MMC:

"I don't want to be a man. I want to be an angst ridden teenager who can't confront his own inner demons and takes them out verbally on other people instead."

so that's why

2011-01-13T20:34:00.000-08:00

For the past few days I've been obsessing about That's Why I Dumped You (.com). It's a site where people anonymously share their reasons for dumping their boyfriends/girlfriends/others. A few of my personal favorites include:

Because you acted like I was the unreasonable one when I gently explained that I thought the Loch Ness Monster probably didn’t exist.

Because you used “bomb” and “legit” in every other sentence. This dessert is bomb… dinner was legit. We’re in grad school. Stop talking like that.

You got mad at me for not watching you sleep. Why would I watch you sleep?

When I talk about simple movie quotes you looked at me with a blank face. HOW THE F**K HAVEN’T YOU SEEN ‘STAR WARS’?

Because when I told you Jurassic Park was a book before it was a movie, you assumed that meant it was based on a true story.

I prrrrromise you, Ke$ha is not as “respected” as you think she i$.

Because you threw out cold pizza. Because you don’t eat cold pizza. Because, what the hell is the matter with you?

Ooooh, that explains a lot. Just kidding. Hope you all had a fabulous Thursday!

baby animal of the week

2011-01-12T20:17:00.000-08:00

Because I had to. Also, who else's life is seriously lacking adorable baby animals?

Also, all of my friends who've visited Australia have told me that you're not actually encouraged to hug koalas. What?! Well, there goes my life's dream.

Matched

2011-01-11T19:39:00.000-08:00

In the Society, Officials decide. Who you love. Where you work. When you die.

Cassia has always trusted their choices. It’s hardly any price to pay for a long life, the perfect job, the ideal mate. So when her best friend appears on the Matching screen, Cassia knows with complete certainty that he is the one… until she sees another face flash for an instant before the screen fades to black. Now Cassia is faced with impossible choices: between Xander and Ky, between the only life she’s known and a path no one else has ever dared follow — between perfection and passion.

(From matched-book.com)

I thought I would love this book because of the plot, and the dystopian world it's set in. It automatically made me think of books like The Giver and Hunger Games. But what I really loved about this book was the language.

Every line of Matched was like a well crafted poem. Despite the fact that it took place in a futuristic society, a lot of the book felt very close to home. The emotions Cassia goes through, her guilt and anger and happiness, all felt very real. Not to mention what was going on with the Society--they gave out information and technology very sparingly, and destroyed so much of what was beautiful and wild in their world. Like the summary says, the Society decides who you love, where you work, and when you die. Having so much freedom taken away from you sounds like a nightmare, and I couldn't put the book down once.

Matched is definitely one of my favorite books of 2010 (it came out in November, I'm just slow), and I would recommend it to both teenagers and adults.

I just wanted to quickly go back to the poetry of the novel--it was one of those books that I'm sure I'll read a few times. Once, in the heat of the moment, just to get to the climax as soon as possible, and again, later, to read over every word and cherish every beautiful, tragic syllable.

One of my favorite quotes from the novel is this:

"I think of how perhaps the best way to fly would be with hands full of earth, so you always remember where you came from."-Ally Condie (Matched)

9.1.11

2011-01-09T18:42:00.000-08:00

whywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhy

I wouldn't ever want to be frozen, as in, cryogenics. Because after all of that time, cold, alone, it would be like dying and then being woken up again. Always asking for five more minutes.

I am fifteen, going on sixteen

2011-01-05T19:53:00.000-08:00

Hellooo,

Today is kind of a big deal to me because it's my last day of being fifteen years old. My 16th birthday is tomorrow, and since I won't have a lot of time to blog, I wanted to do what a friend of mine does on her birthday. Sixteen wishes for sixteen years.

Leave the country. I should probably flee the country now, before the RCMP starts tapping my calls... No, just kidding (and hey, did you notice how RCMP sounds so much less intimidating than FBI or CIA? Come on, Canada). I just want to go somewhere amazing.
Eat less meat. This is actually one of my New Year's resolutions, too. I really see the benefit of being a vegetarian, and I'll do my best (but, oh my god, meat is tasty).
Get my L. When you turn sixteen, you can take a written test to get your Learner's permit and--no way!--drive. Oh my gosh, I am horrified already.
Go to writing camp. This will be my second summer going to the Penticton Youth Write Camp, and it was so fantastic last year that I can hardly wait till July.
Start a 'wrock' group. Aka Wizard Rock--I want to write songs about Harry Potter.
Learn to swim. Don't get me wrong--I can swim. If you toss me into a lake or ocean or other large source of water (but don't), I can keep myself from drowning, and move a bit, too. Unless there are sharks. Okay, bad example, but I want to be a better swimmer, like, swimming lanes and such. Oooh, athletic.
Stop biting my nails. Finally! I have been biting my nails for... basically my whole life. I hate it! This year, I will have longer nails!
Write a book. This is where I say, in my pompous British accent, that I have written a book. Well, okay, a first draft for NaNo, but I'm proud of myself. And if I did that, I can write another, right?
Make a new friend. Okay, lame, I know. But I love meeting new people, especially people that I really "click" with, and having another friend like that would be absolutely fabulous.
Walk more. Instead of getting rides to school or work, or taking the bus, I want to do more walking.
Drink more tea. This goes without saying, really. I'm honestly surprised that I've been able to survive without caffeine for so long.
Write every day. Whatever it is! This kind of goes along with not being afraid to write, and not being afraid to screw up. Something I want to work on.
Read tons of books! Maybe 16 can be the year I finally read War and Peace--or, at least, Lolita. Oh, and a bunch of YA books, too.
Be unafraid. I was going to write "be fearless," but I don't know if that's the best advice. Like, I'd prefer it if I stayed afraid of killer bees, because that's mainly for self-preservation. But I want to stop being so afraid of screwing up or saying the wrong thing or being too weird to do what I want.
Be open to love, in all its forms. I know, I'm bordering on motivational-speaker here, but I really feel like I need to work on being more... lovely. And loving more. Just, all that love stuff.
Be happy. With myself, my hair, my body, my friends, my family. With my job, my houses, my day, my age. I just want to learn to be more content and grateful for everything I have right now, and work towards even more.

Awww. Sorry guys. Didn't mean to go all overboard on the mushy feelings towards the end, there. But growing old makes me sentimental *sniff*

Anyways, I hope you're having a fabulous year. Mine has been... eventful, so far, and not in a good way. Because I forgot to say this earlier, I want to wish you luck, love, happiness and all the perfect words for 2011.

Take care,

Erika

flesh

2011-01-03T11:25:00.000-08:00

"Meat is the decomposing flesh of an animal that did not want to die." That's what Peta said about Lady Gaga's meat dress, and it has me thinking. I don't need to eat meat. I can survive quite well--maybe even better--without it.

Or can I?

I think being vegetarian is super. Okay, so that sounds a little halfhearted. I think that people who have made a concrete choice not to eat meat, and stand by it (or try their best) are doing something good. I don't think we really need meat nearly as much as we think we do, or as much as we simply enjoy it.

But maybe I'm just another animal who doesn't want to die.

2.1.11

2011-01-02T22:23:00.001-08:00

Sometimes it's hard to stand by and do nothing.

Other times, it's easy.

2011

2011-01-01T14:22:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year!

So, today is officially January 1st, 2011. The only January 1st, 2011 in ALL OF SPACE AND TIME AND HISTORY :O

And I've already spent an hour playing my brand new ukulele instead of doing grammar homework.

New Year's is all about setting goals, right? You plan out what you want to do over the next twelve months, which is easy, because, after all, you have twelve long months to accomplish all of your lofty goals. For instance, this year I want to:

Blog at least twice a week, every week
Learn to play "I'm Yours" on the ukulele
Write two first drafts. Not sure of what, exactly, but I have ideas.
Be able to swim much better than I can now
Read more adult fiction

Urgh, so dull. I'm sorry. The things I want to do, and be, in this coming year are hard for me to write down. I want to be happy, and open, and loved. I want to be so much more.

Love,
Erika

review: Water for Elephants

2010-12-30T21:29:00.000-08:00

Hello there,

I'm sorry. I'll admit it, I've been a bad blogger and a bad friend. But there are more pressing issues to talk about today. Namely, an amazing book that I read in six hours today: Water for Elephants.

Life is good for Jacob Jankowski. He's about to graduate from veterinary school and about to bed the girl of his dreams. Then his parents are killed in a car crash, leaving him in the middle of the Great Depression with no home, no family, and no career. Almost by accident, Jacob joins the circus. There he falls in love with the beautiful performer Marlena, who is married to the circus' psychotic animal trainer. He also meets the other love of his life, Rosie the elephant. This lushly romantic novel travels back in forth in time between Jacob's present day in a nursing home and his adventures in the surprisingly harsh world of 1930s circuses. The ending of both stories is a little too cheerful to be believed, but just like a circus, the magic of the story and the writing convince you to suspend your disbelief. The book is partially based on real circus stories and illustrated with historical circus photographs.

So apparently, I am (or was) the only person in the entire world yet to read Water for Elephants. I kid you not. When I started working at the bookstore, I realized how few "Adult Fiction" books I had read, and because everyone was going on about this, I borrowed it from the library.

Basically: Oh my goodness. You know those books that are just so completely honest that you don't even grasp that they're fiction? Yeah, this was one of them. I was about a hundred pages in when I looked at the cover and realized that it was written by Sarah Gruen. Up till that point, I had been completely convinced that it was a real life memoir, or something.

There were parts of this book that were really abrasive. It was one of those books that you can hardly stand to read in a room with other people, in case you start yelling at one of the characters. And they didn't feel like characters--this is the first book I've read in a long time where the people in it felt as real as anyone else in my life.

I noticed something else. The beginning of the book was a big event, sure, but it didn't feel like the beginning. I felt like I was coming in in the middle of something--in the middle of Jacob's life--but in a good way. The story started long before I began reading it, and it will go on long after. I love a book like that, one that never dies.

I would absolutely 11100249348109834% recommend this book. Really, it was just fantastic. It had everything you could look for in a story: love, hate, sex, violence, anger, passion, honesty and tragedy. And I loved every second of it.

Have an amazing New Year, you guys. I'll be better in 2011, I promise.

Erika

***Quick addition: this book is apparently going to come out as a movie in 2011 starring, no way, Robert Pattinson. Urrrrgh, I hope he does it some justice.

three weeks in one post

2010-12-22T11:43:00.001-08:00

It's funny, because I blog so sporadically (on a side note, sorry about that), a lot of things change in between my posts.

For example: In case you didn't know, all of my previous posts were brought to you by someone with dirty blond hair. As of yesterday, my hair is now super red. Like, this red:

My hair is actually long and curly, though, and thus looks much less cool than this picture.

Also, it's winter! Who saw that coming? I've decided to spend December doing lots of reading (because apparently I've been living in a book-free cave for the past month--oh right, NaNoWriMo!). I'm currently on the last of the Maximum Ride books, which are completely amazing. Next up: Water for Elephants. Because I like contrast.

ECLIPSE! Did you see it? Once in a lifetime lunar events don't happen every day, you know. We froze our butts off till one in the morning standing outside, watching the moon glow.

CHRISTMAS! Oh right, that whole "major holiday" thing. I personally love Christmas. The tree, the food, the family, the presents... Since I work in a bookstore, oh yes, all of my family members are getting books. And maybe a few other things, we'll see :)

I think that is about everything that has happened to me in the past forever. Hope to see you again, this time with a shorter intermission.

Erika

ya ya ya

2010-12-08T19:05:00.000-08:00

I don't know very much about John Lennon. I couldn't tell you his parents names, or the year that he and Yoko met. But I've been listening to his music, and the Beatles, for as long as I can remember.

It's impossible for me to believe that he's been dead for twice as long as I've been alive.

Today, after school, we walked to the old mill. There isn't much to see there, anymore. Just some concrete walls and old oil barrels and stuff. And graffiti. So, naturally it was the perfect place for us to practice our vandalism skills.

Three of my friends and I made a stencil of a hand doing the peace sign, which we spray painted, along with: J.L. IMAGINE 1980

I would show you a picture, but, you know, cops. More like I can't get the memory card in my computer, oh my goodness.

Love,
Erika

if i were a fortune cookie...

2010-12-07T21:39:00.000-08:00

Today, we had to research universities and university programs we might consider attending. Which basically means, what do you want to do for the rest of your life (the class is called 'Planning' as in, you have sixty-seven minutes; plan your future).

I was kind of freaking out. The thing is, I want to be a writer. There, I said it. So I suppose the obvious choice would be to study English, journalism or maybe creative writing. But that's not all I'm interested in! I love the sciences, and drawing, and history... And I'm petrified that if I go to school for a certain subject, I'll grow to hate it.

The other part to my two-headed conundrum is that there is really nothing you can do that will guarantee you succeed as or become a writer. It's not like some jobs, where you get a certain education that then qualifies you for a certain job. Bam, pow, shimmy. Just like that.

I feel like getting in a time machine and traveling twenty years into the future, just so I can have some idea of what I chose. So I can tell if I'm happy with it. But that would be cheating.

So I guess I have a question for you, great and vast inter webs: What did you study in university (or any kind of post-secondary education)? And, most importantly, did you enjoy it?

(A picture of Jake Gyllenhaal. Um, yeah, it's relevant.)

See you next time,

Erika

hello december

2010-12-05T11:20:00.000-08:00

Oh, hey there.

AHHHHHHHHHHH!

Okay, so, that was basically my November, in an onomatopoeic (spelled that right on the first try, oh my goodness) nutshell.

Over the past thirty days, I did the following:

1. Wrote 51,175 words in seventeen days. Yay!

2. Was in a musical! (...Kind of. I played trumpet in the pit band for On the Town--if you were there, and you were like, hey, that's some snazzy trumpet playing, yes, it was, thanks to the two other, much more skilled trumpet players. So basically, I was not alone.)

3. Bought red hair dye. My hair is kind of dirty-blond-bordering-on-brown, so I'm going to dye it red one of these days. Horrible idea?

So I just thought I'd check in and say hello. Oh, and also mention, if you're a young writer living in BC, check out this site. I went to the writing camp last summer, and it was amazing!

Mmm, okay. Good stuff.

Hello, December.

Erika

how nano ate my soul (day six)

2010-11-06T22:59:00.000-07:00

Hey there,

My, how you've grown. You were only this tall *gestures randomly somewhere around my knees* last time I saw you.

Okay, so maybe it's only been a few days. But! But, my lovelies, it has been a whole twenty-two thousand, six hundred and three words since we last spoke. I will win NaNo and finish a novel this month, even if it kills me--and means I have to repeat tenth grade from beyond the grave.

22,603. Nearly halfway there.

My novel this month is feeling a little silly. It's about a girl named Cassie who reads tarot cards in her spare time; a boy named Jude who's parents are addicts; an evil organization (because every good novel needs one!) called the VI who capture people with magical energy and bind their souls into rings that give the wearer "unspeakable powers."

*Deep breath* aaaand I've barely even touched on the plot. So far, I have a lot of drawn out dialogue, and unnecessary descriptions. I never really understood what people meant by saying, "Oh, well, the story doesn't really get going till page thirty..."

NOW I GET IT.

NaNo this year has meant a whole lot of missed homework, sleep deprivation, and rambling conversations with my support group (AKA other kids at school crazy--I mean, determined--enough to attempt NaNoWriMo this year) about my unoriginal ideas.

I have a funny feeling that this is like, the calm before the storm. That, even if I do finish NaNo and (oh my gosh I hope so) finish a novel, I'll have strained myself to the point that I will suffer a complete and utter mental breakdown in the days leading up to Christmas.

Did I mention I'm playing trumpet in the pit band for our town's musical (On the Town) this year?

Did I mention our annual sale is coming up at "the bookstore" meaning mucho hours and little sleep?

DID I MENTION HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS (part one) IS COMING OUR NOVEMBER 19th?!

(is it just me, or does Harry look a bit sickly in this picture?)

'Nough said. No really, like, that is all.

Toodles, my friends. I shall see you again... in January?

OH MY GOD THE TIME JUST FLIES BY WHEN YOU'RE POUNDING YOUR FACE AGAINST THE KEYBOARD.

Love,

Erika

na-no-wri-mo

2010-10-15T19:59:00.000-07:00

It’s October again, which, to many people, signifies Halloween, Thanksgiving, and the onslaught of some gloomy fall weather. But not me. For me, this month is the calm before the storm—base camp, if you will, stocked up with provisions and outlines, ready and waiting to tackle the vicious beast that comes out of hiding every year on November first.

NaNoWriMo.

Just to clarify, NaNoWriMo isn’t actually a mythical monster that devours souls and crushes dreams. It just feels that way, some days. NaNoWriMo stands for National Novel Writing Month.

It’s a challenge, basically, to write 50,000 words in the month of November. There’s no reward, besides seeing your word-count bar change to the flashy purple color of a winner, and a deep sense of pride (oh, right, and a finished novel!). So why even attempt it? A thousand word essay can be hard enough, why subject yourself to this kind of literary torture?

There are a few features of NaNoWriMo that make it almost completely different than any other writing challenge or community I’ve ever seen:

1. No Editing. The whole idea of NaNoWriMo is that you write as much as you can. Butt in chair, hands on keyboard, type away madly—that kind of thing. For the month of November, your task as a writer is to produce quantity. The quality bit can wait until December. This takes away a whole lot of pressure and makes the idea of writing a novel into something attainable.

2. The support. When you first visit nanowrimo.org and set up your account, you might notice something about the site. It isn’t a death trap. One of the things that makes NaNoWriMo so unique and so fun is that, on November first, you might be writing your own novel—but you’re not alone. There are hundreds of thousands of like-minded, slightly-insane writers rolling up their sleeves and typing away. You can make writing buddies, challenge each other to word wars, and make some great friends.

3. The forums. The site (nanowrimo.org) features a little subheading near the top—Forums. Who could’ve guessed that one little word could hold so much magic? I’m not kidding. The forums offer different pages for each genre, groups for teens (including separate pages for different ages, band geeks, NaNoWriMo participants who aren’t telling their parents about it—all started by the teens themselves), and, the Holy Grail of the site: The Adoption Society. There’s a thread completely devoted to adopting other people’s unused titles, lines, villain catchphrases, characters, snippets of dialogue, anything.

4. The pep-talks. All throughout November, Chris Baty and the other organizers of NaNoWriMo—plus a few famous authors—send out pep talks via email. Even beyond the forums—which are massive time-wasters, by the way, when you’re supposed to be working on your daily word count—these pep talks are hilarious, heartfelt reminders that you’re not alone. Plus, you learn some interesting facts about the world in general. For instance, I still remember a pep talk YA author Maureen Johnson wrote last year, in which I learned that koalas are smelly and carry disease. Still cute, though.

This year will be my fourth attempt at NaNoWriMo, and guess what? I’ve never won. Yes, sad as it is to admit that, it had to come out sooner or later. So why do I keep coming back? There’s an irrevocable truth that goes hand in hand with the very idea of NaNoWriMo—the more you write, the better you get.

There are a few different approaches you can take. There’s the prepared planner—you can have as many notes, characters, and outlines as you want, you just can’t start writing your novel until November (I'm trying this out for myself--I've only outlined chapter one, but it's already helping my plot). Or you can go with the tried and true strategy of completely winging it. Maybe you have a character name (Betsy), a bit of dialogue (“And then all our cows were zombies!”), or a rough idea (it’s like, Nancy Drew meets Jurassic Park).

If you do decide to sign up for NaNo this year, add me as a buddy! My username is love-Spencer (it's a long, boring story). Good luck with all your writing!

Love,

Erika

reality leaves much to the imagination

2010-10-09T22:20:00.001-07:00

If you've been on Google in the past two days, you probably already know that today would've been John Lennon's 70th birthday. It's nearly impossible to think of the other event today--the 30th anniversary of his murder.

I was born fifteen years ago. This means, everything I say on this subject is one part things-I-know and one part things-I-think-I-know. I wasn't alive when the Beatles were together; I wasn't there when the fab four changed the world--or when John went on to turn giving peace a chance into a global movement. But I grew up singing, "I Wanna Hold Your Hand." This is the music I love, these are the stories I wish I had seen unfold.

That's what I love about John Lennon. You don't have to be smart or old or deep to appreciate his music. His message. His love and his passion. You just have to be.

If you're in Canada, have a fabulous Thanksgiving weekend.
If you're somewhere else, have a fabulous Tuxedo Day (tomorrow) and Bring Your Teddy Bear to Work Day (October 11th).

Love,

Erika

I remember...

2010-10-06T20:07:00.000-07:00

Today, October 6th, is the birthday of a very good friend of mine. Scratch that--it's the birthday of someone who was my very good friend.

I don't mean this in a five-year-old, you're not my friend anymore! kind of way. We're neighbors, and when we were four years old, we were really close. Okay, so my memory of four-year-old-me isn't super clear, but I do know that we spent a lot of time together. But, over the last few years, we've grown apart.

He (the nameless-friend, of course) is very sporty. I... Well, I'm kind of not. I don't think it was us growing up that drove us apart, I think it was inevitable. Even if we stayed perpetually four-years-old, we were always really different people.

The point of all this? Well, today as we walked into English, I wished him a happy birthday. He seemed a little confused--he said thanks, but more in a, you remembered? kind of way.

I've always remembered his birthday, because it's the same day as mine (nine months difference, but whatever). Sure, it might be a little strange, but oh well.

Some days, I remember more than I feel I should. The way someone picks at their nails, an stranger's phone number, the color of someone's shoelaces. It can be weird. But there are sometimes things about a person that stand out to me.

What do you remember?

Erika

small life

2010-09-30T21:21:00.000-07:00

I don't like September. It's one of those months that has a bad reputation--the beginning of the school year, the end of summer--just like Mondays.

If we got rid of September and Mondays (as in, eliminated them. I don't know where they'd go. Check with the missing socks and the last original plot), I wonder if it would make people happier. Sure, maybe the psychological effects would last for a week or so, but then we'd move on to hating October and Tuesdays.

I was reading a blog post over at Book Bound (which is just fabulous, and really entertaining) where they talked about finishing your first drafts. What they said, though much more eloquently than me, was that you should finish all your first drafts. You don't have to publish them of course, but you'll learn so much that, trunk them or not, it'll be worth it.

Soooo, I'm back to my novel about super heroes. Novel might be a stretch--it's 12 pages and counting... Slowly counting... I'm just rereading what I already had, and I'm not stuck yet, but I'm afraid I soon will be.

So: September, Monday, writer's block. What else do I extremely dislike?

Canteloupe, shrimp, basketball. Swallowing so much salt water your throat burns. Incoherent blog posts. Grey's Anatomy. The fact that not everyone's life can be an Urban Fantasy novel.

In other news, have a great Friday.

Erika

sicksicksick

2010-09-27T15:06:00.000-07:00

Hello,

The band, Port O'Brien, has a song called I Woke Up Today (weirdly enough, O'Brien is my gym teacher's name. Coincidence? I think not). It's a pretty good song, in my opinion. They're a folkish band who, according to their website, have been heavily influenced by the ocean.

If it was written about my life, though, I fear the song would go more like, I woke up today... and then I went back to bed.

I stayed home from school today because my head felt like someone had chosen it as the convenient location to blow up and twist around party balloons. This marks my First Cold of Fall. Wow, only six days into it and I'm sick. Pretty impressive, really.

Yesterday, I was outside in the pouring rain for about three hours because my town had it's first ever Graffiti Fest. There are a few big, abandoned buildings around town, and during the Graffiti Fest, the Arts Council and Skeena Diversity Society got permission to completely spray-paint over one of them. I left my mark on a concrete road barrier that was off to the side of the building.

Here I am, with my finished work:

Ugh, lovely rain-soaked hair and I-wasn't-planning-on-leaving-the-house clothes. So, I painted "Je t'aime" (I love you in French). Then it pretty much washed away in the rain, so painted it again.

At least being sick has given me lots of reading time. I finished Paranormalcy yesterday and The Demon's Lexicon today. Now I'm torn: I Am Number Four or Clockwork Angel? It's so hard to say.

So, what are you doing today?

lovely

2010-09-25T20:49:00.000-07:00

Helloooo,

So, it's been raining. And if you read this blog regularly, you probably know that I adore the rain. I write weird, incoherent posts dedicated to storm clouds. I jump in puddles, and I sleep under layers of quilts to soften the plink-plonk of rain.

Tragically, I haven't been able to fully enjoy the miserable weather because I've been working. In the past three days, I worked nineteen hours. And I bought two books. Ah, well, what better way is there to spend my wages? I got a copy of I Am Number Four, so I'm pretty stoked to read that--okay, I was practically jumping up and down in front of the customers, and there was definitely some giggling :)

All this exciting news. Or maybe it's not very exciting for you. I apologize.

Tonight, I will fall asleep to the roar of the rain. Tomorrow, I will sleep in far too late and spend the day doing homework and practicing for a trumpet-playing-test.

But I will not let it spoil the lovely weather.

Love,

Erika

never be the same

2010-09-22T19:54:00.000-07:00

(Image from weheartit.com)

My friend, Hope (name change, just in case she doesn't want it here), moved away at the end of the summer.

It's nice, talking to her over MSN, hearing about her day and her school. But it's also weird--removed. Hope is one of those rare, wonderful people who are totally fearless and totally vulnerable at the same time. She was always up for anything; a loud, vibrant person. Except when she wasn't. Hope could be shy and awkward just as much as the rest of us. But she could make anyone feel comfortable with just a few words.

She's coming back to Terrace in a few days (13 days, 14 nights, she told me), and I'm excited, but I'm also worried about what might have changed.

Hope has always kind of overwhelmed me. She's so bright and alive and crazy, and I definitely wish I could be more like her. As much as I want to talk to her in person again, I'm a little worried.

She and one of her good friends have a bet going that Hope will star in a movie before her friend publishes a book. They're the kind of people that will still be in touch in, say, twenty years. Me? I'm not so sure.

I'm sure I'll still know at least a few of my close friends. I really can't be sure, though. I definitely want to know what all these fabulous people will do with their lives, but once we're no longer seeing each other in school every day, I don't know if we'll really remember.

There I go, getting all nostalgic over things that haven't happened yet.

One thing's for sure, though. I don't want to forget. The evening air is cool and crisp, and we have our fireplace lit. It's the perfect first day of Fall.

This is a season of courage.

Erika

SPEAK up

2010-09-20T21:38:00.000-07:00

I read Speak when I was in grade eight, and it made me sign up for Art the next year. It made me value my words, and the power they carry, that much more. It made me think before I spoke.

For those of you who haven't read Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson, it's a book about a girl named Melinda Sordino who begins her freshman year refusing to say anything, due to a trauma explained later in the book. Spoilers below, please scroll down quickly if you don't want to read them!

*Spoilers*

Melinda got drunk at a party a few weeks before freshman year, and was raped by senior Andy Evans. She calls 911 and cops bust the party--once the school year starts, she is alienated by all her old friends, and because she doesn't tell anyone what really happened, she falls into a deep depression.

Melinda spends most of her time in art class, or holed up in an abandoned janitor's closet she claims as her own, not saying a word to anyone. When her friend Rachel starts dating Andy Evans, though, Melinda feels obligated to tell her about the rape.

*End spoilers*

It's a very emotional, moving book that deals with all sorts of feelings of isolation, guilt and depression. I think it should be a definite must-read for all teenagers and adults. But apparently not everyone feels the same way.

Enter a man named Wesley Scroggins. He's both associate professor of management at Missouri State University and was a speaker at Reclaiming Missouri for Christ. I don't have anything against his religious beliefs, but I do have something against him calling Speak filthy and immoral. He called it soft porn, because it has two rape scenes.

1) The idea of sex itself is in no way the main point of the book.
2) How is rape soft porn? That part really disgusts me.

My main argument, however, is against the idea that kids and teens shouldn't be reading books like Speak because they can't handle them. Rape is a topic that teens need to know about, and keeping it out of the school system won't stop it from happening. As Veronica Roth said in her brilliant post on the subject: The world is broken. No matter how much time you spend covering your eyes, and covering your children's eyes, the world will still be broken when you uncover them., you can't shelter your kids forever. In my mind, sure, a seven-year-old probably shouldn't be reading Speak. But teenagers always read above their level, and reading about the horrible, ugly parts of the world help us to better understand the good as well as the bad. Just because you read a mystery novel about a psychopath doesn't mean you're going to go out and kill a dozen people.

Reading is just as much about what you take away from the book as what the book actually says. And reading a book like Speak definitely helped me better understand my classmates, and my world.

For a much more coherent piece on the subject, check out Laurie Halse Anderson's website here.

I don't think you have to give your kids, or the young people you know, free reign to read anything they want. Obviously some books are inappropriate until the ready is "ready". But you can't shield their eyes forever, and reading is all about choice. Who do I want to be today, what do I want to learn about today, what do I need to know?

Everything.

Love,

Erika

hug o' war

2010-09-18T21:16:00.001-07:00

Every Saturday, we try to change things up at The Bookstore (capital letters just so you don't confuse it with a bookstore--a simple, run-of-the-mill place I don't work at). This isn't really that exciting. We change the mini-displays so there are new books up, and write a new quote.

These are both my jobs. And I love them.

I love exploring the fiction section (which I'm not allowed to hang out in too much, since I know it so well already) and finding new and exciting titles. I love picking out covers that make me go oooh! and putting them out for everyone to see.

But most of all, I love writing a new quote. It's pretty simple: you pick out a quote, poem, or saying you love, write it on the store's big white board, and put it out for display. The quote can be about books, or something that makes you think, or something that makes you laugh. You can pick anything, and that's why I was so freaked out when, last Saturday, it officially became my job.

I didn't know where to start or what to expect. Would my boss be okay with what I picked? Would anyone actually be able to read my writing?

This was today's pick:

Hug O' War by Shel Silverstein

I will not play at tug o' war.
I'd rather play at hug o' war,
Where everyone hugs
Instead of tugs,
Where everyone giggles,
And rolls on the rug,
Where everyone kisses,
And everyone grins,
And everyone cuddles,
And everyone wins.

It made me happy, and my boss was happy, and today was a good day. Some days you go with something that puts a smile on your face, and that's all.

Love,

Erika

simplicity is confusing

2010-09-14T20:25:00.000-07:00

George Frideric Handel was a genius.

We're playing his piece, Sarabande, in concert band and it is fantastic. Our arrangement is really simple, but really, really beautiful. If you've never heard it, check it out right here.

I think that the simple things are often the most beautiful. I know that's not exactly an original idea--everyone's always saying, "Enjoy the simple things in life!"--but right now I feel the undeniable truth in it so strongly that I wanted to share. Like Handel's piece (although I'm sure a lot went in to writing it) a few notes strung together can say more than a whole orchestra. And don't get me started on Ode to Joy.

But some things can't be simple.

My favorite part of a horror movie has always been the beginning, when everyone is going about their normal lives, with no sign of the gruesome murder or deadly monsters to come. The tension is building, but no one is spurting blood.

I think that's a bad sign. How can you be a writer, how can you thrive off creating problems and obstacles for characters to overcome, when you breathe a sigh of relief when nothing is going wrong?

But now, I've come to an understanding. There's nothing wrong with enjoying a little down time. That being said, I need to know how to wreak some havoc, and toss in a few violins. Or trumpets. I do adore trumpets.

I'm sorry, I think I went off on about fifty different tangents right there.

Have a terrific Tuesday,

Erika

flight of the fifteen-year-old

2010-09-11T21:50:00.001-07:00

Hello Saturday,

It's been a busy day. I worked for seven hours, all the while with a massive inferiority complex hovering over my head. Then I did stuff. Not sure what, but it took two hours. How do I know that? I didn't eat dinner till 8:00. I do not operate well on an empty stomach.

Earlier in the week, my science teacher was discussing study habits. He mentioned making goals, and, even though you could practically hear the class rolling their eyes, he had some interesting things to say.

According to my teacher, all sorts of studies have been done on written goals--not just goals in general, they have to be written down. If you have specific, detailed goals and you write them down, you're way more likely to achieve them.

That got my thinking.

Counting September, I have four months until I turn 16. I've decided there are a few things I want to do in these four months--I know sixteen isn't very old, but it's old to me. Which means that 800 years old is like, unimaginable ;)

While I am Fifteen, I will:

Attend a new yoga class
Complete at least two PE by correspondence assignments (out of five, I think)
Have the rough draft of my wip COMPLETE
Have an A average in all my classes
Practice cello and trumpet every other day
Go swimming

There. They're little things, but now that they're written down, there's nothing to stop me from achieving my goals :D

Oooh, I just love tagging things.

Erika

random post is random

2010-09-09T17:37:00.001-07:00

I'm watching The Vampire Diaries, which I've just recently discovered I kind of love. At first, I pretty much ruled it out. Just another vampire story, right?

In many ways, yes. Human girl falls in love with vamp guy. But it has so much more--awesome dialogue, some serious violence, totally hot actors (what? It's true, visual aids do help), and vampires that are legitimately scary. They snarl, their faces go all black, and they kill each other. What more could you ask from a vampire?

Basically, you shouldn't judge a book by it's cover--or a TV show by it's main paranormal feature...? Yeah, no, don't even pay attention to that.

In other news, I was on Bing.com (just to look at the pictures, I swear. I'm a Google girl at heart) earlier and saw this, the pangolin:

Do you know that awkward moment, when characters on a TV show or movie are kissing, having a serious make-out session, or *fading to black*, and someone else is watching the show with you? Yeah, my dad's in the kitchen, and I'm watching the aforementioned Vampire Diaries. Wow, that's awkward.

One last thing, just to make this random post truly random: I learned in Planning class today that teenagers need exactly nine hours and twenty minutes of sleep to be properly rested. So, don't you be staying up too late!

Don't worry Damon, I still love you. Even if you can be totally psycho.

"I do believe in killing the messenger. Know why? It sends a message." - Damon Salvatore

Thursday has been a bit random. Not bad, just... random.

Love,

Erika

visual inspiration

2010-09-07T14:37:00.000-07:00

I was reading a blog post by the lovely Steph Bowe and have decided to follow her lead--I'm going to post about visual inspiration! Pictures and photos are a huge inspiration to me. I like to be able to see what my characters look like, and am always on the hunt for good picts. All of the following images are from We Heart It (actually, I stole one from Caitlin's blog!) and are my inspiration for my current WIP:

Oh my gosh, I have a lot of pictures. Anyways, feel free to take any you like, and make your own post on visual inspiration. I love seeing all these pretty pictures :)

Erika

number two pencil

2010-09-07T12:30:00.001-07:00

Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh.

Today was the first day of school. My first day of tenth grade. The first time I heard my science teacher's Yoda impersonation.

I've never dreaded the first day of school. I always feel more anxious than anything. Last night I couldn't sleep, and when I woke up at seven AM this morning, I barely made it to the shower without collapsing.

My classes this semester?

Planning - We're going to be focusing on our future career plans, nutrition, and budgets. Fun stuff. Minus the fact that I have no real career plans, I already know a weird amount of information about nutrition (seriously. Want a good source of polyunsaturated fat? Eat some salmon), and my version of a budget is the cow-shaped-piggy-bank on my desk.

English - English, English, English. This makes me happy. And I have it with a boy I was friends with when we were, like, six years old. That makes me happy. However, we're starting with a unit on essays. Slightly less fun.

Art - Eek! I'm extremely thrilled to have Art class for a whole semester (half the school year). And I have it with two of my good friends. So stoked for our pottery unit :)

Band/Science - We have band all year round, paired with an academic course. I play trumpet. I am very excited. I need to stop using "I" statements.

My semester looks pretty fun--but that means, starting in February, I have all the crazy hard academic classes. Woo-hoo.

My friend K and I stayed late after school (so late that our science/home room teacher was like, "Get out of here!" In a joking way... I think) decorating our lockers. I love putting pictures up in my locker, even though I have a stupid bottom locker (meaning I need to kneel down on the ground and jostle elbows with my "neighbors" every time I need to get my books). I get to decide what I want to look at for the coming year--what will inspire me or make me laugh.

As of today, I'll get to stare at Finn from Glee (AKA Cory Monteith)'s face every time I open my locker. I've got to be honest, I'm pretty excited :D

Love,

Erika

500 Books of Summer

2010-09-06T11:28:00.001-07:00

School starts tomorrow. I have less than twenty-four hours of summer left and, rather than partying it up, I've pretty much resigned myself to staying home, being dull. I'm sick, I didn't sleep well, and I need to clean my room or my dad will cut off my pinkie toes (not really, I was just trying to think of some kind of horrible torture).

I've been waiting for a while to talk about my favorite books of summer, so here goes. I could've sworn I read more, but I suck at reading. Really, I can't read more than one book at a time or I completely forget what's going on--and I'm picky :P

500 Books of Summer (okay, more like ten):

1. Porcupine by Meg Tilly - MG Contemporary - She was in Fame and I MET HER! Such a cool person, and this book was bursting with voice, but the chapters--or lack thereof; the book was arranged by seasons--were a little confusing.

2. The Gryphon Project by Carrie Mac - YA Urban Fantasy - I'm not really sure what genre this fits in, but I loved the idea of a society where people have more than one life--and the amount of lives you have determines your class. I actually read this as an ARC I got from work. It was a good story, but I felt like it fell flat at some points, despite the interesting characters.

3. Along for the Ride by Sarah Dessen - YA Contemporary - This was my first experience reading anything by Sarah Dessen. I loved how the MC's parents were really well defined characters, but it was a bit too wholesome and good hearted for my taste ;)

4. Lock and Key by Sarah Dessen - YA Contemporary - I didn't like this book. I just couldn't connect with the main character, and, as well written as it was, I felt like there were things that could have been left out.

5. Dead Tossed Waves by Carrie Ryan - YA Dystopian - Is this Dystopian? I wasn't sure if YA Zombie counted as a genre, but it definitely should, and Carrie Ryan can be the poster child. I am legitimately terrified of zombies, but I liked this book, and I liked how much it scared me.
But I found myself at odds with the MC some times, and wishing a few lines had been left out.

6. Shiver and Linger by Maggie Stiefvater - YA Urban Fantasy - I absolutely loved Shiver. One of the main characters, Sam, is so poetic and vulnerable, I couldn't wait to read his chapters--and it kept me on the edge of my seat. In Linger, I really liked the contrast of Cole and Isobel's voices, but I didn't have the same sense of urgency as in Shiver--until the end, that is.

7. The Darkest Powers trilogy by Kelley Armstrong - YA Urban Fantasy - Definitely one of my favorite reads this summer. I loved the main character and the fact that she wasn't all, "Woo-hoo, magic!" right away. She had to adjust to the idea of having 'powers' just like any other person would.

8. Break by Hannah Moskowitz - YA Contemporary - I liked this book, but at times I had a hard time connecting to it. Still, a great, realistic read with dialogue that made me laugh out loud several times.

9. Mockingjay by Suzanne Colins - YA Dystopian - OMGWOW. This book was the perfect way to end the Hunger Games trilogy (for the record, the first book was my favorite), and my friend and I have been discussing it in whispers every time we see each other.

10. The Demon's Lexicon by Sarah Rees Brennan - YA Urban Fantasy - Again, I suck at determining genres, but oh well. I'm not done this yet, but I love it already. And I wanted this list to be an even ten. I love Nick's dialogue, and all of the characters, and I feel like there's just enough internal monologue to give the story dimension without slowing down the pace.

This summer, I also had my first experience Beta Reading! I beta-read and line-edited Someone Left to Love by the lovely and patient Dana-Lynn Mauldin. It was a nice read, very emotional, and very well written. I can't wait to see it published :)

All in all, I really need to read more. Maybe the rainy days of Fall will inspire me. So, what are your books of summer?

Love,

Erika