I want to travel after I graduate. I want to visit all the continents and see new places and experience new cultures. But I like having my little nest--I like routine and I like having all my stuff and a place I'm used to. I love planning trips, though. Planning trips is like making to do lists. It all seems so brilliant and magical until you're actually there, actually doing everything. Sure, "visit open air market in Havana" might sound absolutely amazing, but when you're there, caked with sweat and stressed out from haggling or not-haggling over prices, it's a totally different experience.
It's... more real.
I think that's what makes me uncomfortable. I'm happy living this quiet, fictional life where everything is just so, and things happen according to the plot arc--but when things start to be really, well, real, you're completely vulnerable. And that can be a terrifying, incredible, wonderful thing.
I get so anxious over little and big things. It just comes naturally for me to over analyze and rethink everything. But reality isn't something you can pause while you work things out on the side.
Some days I don't feel like I'll find my fit anywhere. If I stay some place that I'm comfortable, I'll feel like I'm missing out. If I'm constantly on the move, I'll be in a constant state of mild-freaking-out. Maybe I'm just a nowhere girl.
In case you're wondering why I'm writing this, I'm going to be away next week on a band trip. Nowhere overly exotic (we're going to Vancouver, BC), but still a nice change. We're leaving Monday, hideously early in the morning, so I really need to start packing. Since I'm going to be one a bus for almost two days straight, I really need something to read. Something gripping enough to keep me interested even in the worst state of bus-blah, but not too heavy or thick.
Any book suggestions?