teaser tuesday

soundtrack: (If You're Wondering if I Want You to) I Want You To by Weezer

I stayed home sick from school today because I've been sleeping really badly and was so tired yesterday that I almost just called it quits while walking home from school yesterday. I kid you not, I was prepared to make camp on the side of the road. Now I have piles of homework awaiting me when I get back tomorrow, and massive bags under my eyes.

Despite all of this, I've decided to go ahead with "Teaser Tuesday". I know it's not exactly original, but hey, it's gotta be used so much for a reason!

Below are the first two pages of a project that I've basically abandoned these days due to unruly characters and no idea what should happen next! Did I mention that my current WIP is up to 8200 words? I'm trying out the whole freakishly fast first draft method. Obviously I'll have to delete most of it come editing, but it's a great way to keep things fresh.

Growing up, Daniel and I were big into crossing our hearts and hoping to die. With us no secret could be told without a pinkie promise to back it up, and we definitely had some secrets to tell.

From the moment I was born, Daniel has always been there for me. We were born in the same year, on the same day, even at the same hour. The thing is, Daniel was born five minutes before me. He always seemed to be five minutes ahead and always had at least a five minute head start. If you listened to him, he would say he’s five minutes wiser, but that’s a load of bullshit unless you think it’s wise to run off in the middle of the night and not tell your best friend any more than, “I’ll be back soon, I swear.”

I didn’t want Daniel to be back soon. I wanted him to be safe and happy and crazy and mischievous and I wanted him to be all of those things right here in Baybridge Cove with me. It was two months ago today that he tapped our secret knock against my bedroom window. Daniel’s face was red from the cold and his hands felt like ice when I helped him in.

“Hey Brig,” he said. He sounded tired but there was something in his eye—something dangerous. I should have known right then and there that something was wrong with him, and I should’ve... I don’t know. If I could go back and talk him out of leaving, I don’t know what I would say. From the look in his eyes, as if staying in the city for even a second more would burn him alive, I doubt any rational argument would’ve worked. Maybe I could’ve locked him in my closet or told him I loved him, or something crazy like that.

“Hi,” I said. I was wearing a silky nightgown that my sister Claire gave me for Christmas. I was freezing my ass off but, to tell the truth, I wasn’t expecting Danny to come that night. I was expecting someone else.

The nightgown barely reached my thighs. Even though Daniel and I were friends literally since we were born (and had seen each other naked dozens of times, or so my mom has told me multiple times. Birthdays, Christmases, parent-teacher meetings, she never manages to miss an opportunity to completely embarrass me), the past few years a few things changed with us, or at least with me. For instance, I fully understand Danny has a penis and thanks to Claire’s need for ‘sisterly bonding,’ I know exactly what it's supposed to do, thanks to anatomy lessons using sadly inaccurate Barbie and Ken dolls.

I started to turn red and was looking for my bathrobe when Danny said, “You look...” I was practically holding my breath at this point.

“Thanks.”

I sat down on my bed and offered him a seat, but he shook his head and closed the window behind him. Danny was wearing full on winter gear, from the thick waterproof boots to the bright green scarf his mom knitted him every year, without fail.

“Where are you going?” I asked, noticing for the first time the bulging backpack draped over his shoulders.

He shrugged it off and said, “Nowhere, really. Just making the rounds to all my lovely ladies around town.”

“Funny, funny,” I rolled my eyes. “But honestly, Danny, what brings you here? I’m sure you have better things to do on a Friday night than sneak into my room.”

A few years ago, that wouldn’t have been true, but by then I could tell than he and I were drifting apart; five minutes can be a long time, when you think about it. There was something about Danny that drew people to him—just like there was something about me that scared them away.

He smiled a little but it didn’t reach his eyes. “You’re wrong, Brig. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”

Daniel was standing in front of my by then, still with the same look in his eye. I couldn’t quite place it but it definitely wasn’t the usual, easy-going Danny I grew up with. And then Danny leaned down until our faces were level I could count the gold flecks in his hazel eyes if I wanted to, but I didn’t. It was so hard to meet his gaze when he looked like that; so determined and full of the will to do anything, whether it was dangerous or stupid or scary.

The air was so stiflingly hot that I could hardly breathe. Staring at Daniel like I had all my life was like looking in a mirror. It was hard to believe that we were so different now. His dark hair was still damp from the snow.

“Brig...” Daniel said slowly. Whatever he might have said was cut off when he put a hand behind my head and pressed his lips against mine.

Daniel felt so cold. I wanted to throw my hands around his neck and kiss him until his temperature boiled over, and we could be feverish and silly together. At that moment I felt for this boy like I never had my whole life. All I wanted was Daniel.

I’m not going to lie to you, so I’m not going to stop there even though I wish I could. But if I don’t tell the truth then I might never see Danny again. Just please promise not to hate me by the time I’m done.

I pulled away, because it wasn’t right. It wasn’t right at all. “What the hell, Danny?” I sounded breathless and hated myself for it. The look on Danny’s face made me feel doubly guilty.

“I... I thought that maybe...”

“You thought what?” Remembering this makes me feel horrible; Daniel was pouring his heart out to me and I was acting like a petulant little kid. Just like when we were four years old and I pushed him off his bike because I wanted a turn. Our history was full of moments like that. But that night I was acting the way I was because I knew something Danny didn’t: I knew that Nick Beechman, my sometimes boyfriend, would be arriving any moment for the same reason that I was wearing that stupid nightgown. To have sex for the first time.

“You thought that after that past year when you’ve done nothing but ignore me you could just show up at my window like we’re in fifth grade and—”

“When have I ever ignored you?” Daniel asked and his green-brown eyes looked so honest I had to look away.

I opened my mouth to respond but another knock at the window interrupted me. The window was unlocked and Nick let himself in. He’s the opposite of Danny in so many ways. Nick’s blond, tall and has a lightness around him that’s almost angelic. Danny is dark and mischievous with a solid feel to him that has nothing to do with his looks.

I expected Nick to be angry that Daniel was there, but he just pushed past him. Nick put his arm around my waist and planted a quick kiss on the side of my lips. His kiss was hurried and forceful and it felt like he was claiming his territory.

“Hey Danny,” he nodded. “How’s it going?”

“Alright, thanks,” Danny said calmly enough but I could tell that he was furious. “Just hanging out in Brig’s bedroom—nothing weird about that.”

“Well, my girlfriend can be very hospitable,” Nick pulled me closer to him.

So, what did you think? Let me know in the comments--I want to know if Teaser Tuesday is worth doing? If blogging is worth doing? If life is worth doing. Now that's deep.

Love,
Erika